1
00:00:52,033 --> 00:00:53,033
Come.
2
00:00:59,195 --> 00:01:00,595
Are you horny?
3
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,193
Are you OK?
4
00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:13,035
Sure?
5
00:01:14,955 --> 00:01:17,475
Relax, relax, hey, relax.
6
00:01:20,075 --> 00:01:21,115
What's wrong?
7
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:28,515
Relax, relax. We're here.
8
00:01:31,595 --> 00:01:33,795
Hey, what's wrong?
9
00:01:33,915 --> 00:01:35,915
Rafa man, what's wrong?
10
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,715
Relax, don't worry.
11
00:01:51,115 --> 00:01:54,915
My Emptiness and I.
12
00:01:55,275 --> 00:01:57,195
What is your female name?
13
00:01:57,995 --> 00:01:59,715
My female name?
14
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:02,195
- Do you have a female name?
- No.
15
00:02:03,995 --> 00:02:07,515
And if you had one? What would it be?
16
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:12,395
I don't know.
I've never thought about it.
17
00:02:13,115 --> 00:02:17,315
Okay, so I'll put Raphael, Okay?
18
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:22,995
If you want put Raphaëlle with LL and E,
which is the female version in French.
19
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:24,755
- ¿With F or...?
- PH.
20
00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:25,955
PH.
21
00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:28,715
Rapha... ëlle.
22
00:02:28,835 --> 00:02:32,513
- LL and E at the end.
- LL and E at the end.
23
00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:34,235
- "Raphael"?
- Raphaëlle.
24
00:02:34,315 --> 00:02:35,475
Oh, Raphaëlle.
25
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:38,513
Okay, so... it sounds the same
in masculine and feminine.
26
00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:39,793
Alright.
27
00:02:41,475 --> 00:02:43,793
How do you define yourself?
28
00:02:44,435 --> 00:02:45,793
What do you mean?
29
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,435
I mean, um...
30
00:02:47,675 --> 00:02:50,075
You define yourself:
I am a boy, I am a girl...
31
00:02:50,155 --> 00:02:52,155
- I'm a boy, of course.
- I'm a boy.
32
00:02:52,235 --> 00:02:54,275
And how do you feel?
33
00:02:56,195 --> 00:02:59,595
What do you mean how do I feel?
I don't understand these questions.
34
00:03:00,155 --> 00:03:03,395
There's a difference.
One thing is how do you define yourself.
35
00:03:03,675 --> 00:03:06,755
You name yourself. Another thing
is how you feel more intimately.
36
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:10,155
If you close your eyes
and you let yourself feel...
37
00:03:10,555 --> 00:03:14,235
Do you feel like a girl?
Do you feel like a boy?
38
00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:17,995
Well, what is feeling like a girl
or like a boy? I don't...
39
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,955
It's something very deep and intimate.
I can't answer that for you.
40
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,275
Well, neither can I.
41
00:03:23,395 --> 00:03:25,275
Okay, don't answer that.
42
00:03:25,395 --> 00:03:27,915
But I see you are dressed like a woman.
43
00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:29,435
Well, yes...
44
00:03:29,555 --> 00:03:31,835
Do you usually
dress like a woman?
45
00:03:31,955 --> 00:03:35,715
When I was studying in Paris I did.
46
00:03:36,315 --> 00:03:38,835
I don't know, I like feminine clothes.
47
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:44,555
Alright, I'll note that down. Okay.
48
00:03:45,275 --> 00:03:47,915
Moving on to the more intimate
questions.
49
00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:50,955
What did you play with
when you were little?
50
00:03:52,555 --> 00:03:55,755
- With dolls.
- Dolls.
51
00:03:59,035 --> 00:04:00,795
How did you pee?
52
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,475
- Sitting.
- Sitting.
53
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:11,915
Did you wear a bra?
54
00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:14,075
No.
55
00:04:14,635 --> 00:04:15,755
You didn't pretend to...
56
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:19,875
I know that when you're a child
you don't have breasts, but you pretend.
57
00:04:19,995 --> 00:04:21,875
Just like you played with dolls...
58
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,515
- Did you wear one?
- No, no.
59
00:04:23,635 --> 00:04:24,635
No.
60
00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:30,115
Alright.
61
00:04:31,195 --> 00:04:33,035
How did you masturbate?
62
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,915
I don't know what to say.
63
00:04:40,035 --> 00:04:43,635
For example, when you masturbated,
did you look at yourself?
64
00:04:43,755 --> 00:04:45,102
- Did you look at your genitals?
- No.
65
00:04:45,153 --> 00:04:47,555
That was the question.
66
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:50,675
To know if you did it
with the lights on or in the dark.
67
00:04:50,755 --> 00:04:55,595
So you could look at yourself
or not. That was the question.
68
00:04:55,675 --> 00:04:58,315
Those were
the most difficult questions.
69
00:05:14,835 --> 00:05:17,795
Wait, let me start the update.
70
00:05:20,355 --> 00:05:26,035
OK. I have to do a synchronisation
that will take thirty minutes...
71
00:05:26,115 --> 00:05:29,395
and in thirty minutes
you should have the internet back.
72
00:05:29,475 --> 00:05:30,595
Okay?
73
00:05:37,835 --> 00:05:41,115
Please, stop insisting
or I will have to hang up.
74
00:05:43,555 --> 00:05:45,915
Okay fine, listen: goodbye.
75
00:05:52,955 --> 00:05:54,035
- Hello?
- Hello.
76
00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,275
- Hi, dad.
- Hi Rapha! How are you?
77
00:05:56,395 --> 00:05:59,515
- Fine, you?
- Fine.
78
00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,675
- Yeah?
- What's wrong? You sound strange.
79
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:05,435
No, I just left the psychologist.
80
00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:06,835
And?
81
00:06:06,915 --> 00:06:08,595
So...
82
00:06:09,355 --> 00:06:12,315
She told me that...
83
00:06:13,153 --> 00:06:15,795
apparently, it's gender dysphoria.
84
00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:19,795
Gender dysphoria? What's that?
85
00:06:20,675 --> 00:06:26,195
I didn't quite understand because
I was in shock, but basically...
86
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,395
She thinks that...
87
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:33,755
Actually, she thinks that
I'm a girl in a boy's body.
88
00:06:34,153 --> 00:06:36,195
That's it basically.
89
00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:38,595
Alright.
90
00:06:39,395 --> 00:06:44,475
So, what do you have to do?
91
00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:46,435
I don't really know.
92
00:06:46,555 --> 00:06:49,395
She talked about
a hormonal treatment, but...
93
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:52,235
I don't know, it seems really...
94
00:06:52,315 --> 00:06:53,713
I feel like I have no choice.
95
00:06:53,795 --> 00:06:55,755
She just informed me...
96
00:06:55,835 --> 00:06:57,475
and now I have to make a decision.
97
00:06:57,555 --> 00:06:59,635
She's sending me
to the endocrinologist, but...
98
00:07:00,515 --> 00:07:02,915
I don't know. It seems...
99
00:07:03,515 --> 00:07:06,153
Sweetheart, in any case...
100
00:07:06,475 --> 00:07:10,275
we have to do something.
101
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,075
Yes, but... do what?
102
00:07:57,515 --> 00:08:02,235
Gender dysphoria.
103
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:36,235
DO YOU THINK I'M A LEGITIMATE GIRL?
104
00:08:46,915 --> 00:08:48,475
LEGITIMATE FOR?
105
00:08:48,755 --> 00:08:52,235
THAT'S FOR YOU TO DECIDE.
106
00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:57,795
YES
107
00:08:57,915 --> 00:08:59,275
YOU'RE RIGHT.
108
00:09:12,075 --> 00:09:16,355
BUT IT'S BLOWING THE WRONG WAY
109
00:09:33,195 --> 00:09:37,355
Álex. According to his profile,
he's thirty years old.
110
00:09:37,835 --> 00:09:40,595
He's amazing. Look.
111
00:09:43,675 --> 00:09:44,795
He's handsome, right?
112
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:48,995
It's just to take off a little bit.
113
00:09:49,115 --> 00:09:53,675
It happens to me too,
when I put on makeup at home,
114
00:09:53,795 --> 00:09:56,475
later I'll look at myself
in my car mirror,
115
00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:58,275
it's too much and
I have to remove it.
116
00:09:58,395 --> 00:09:59,315
It happens sometimes.
117
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,315
Don't worry, I'll take it off.
118
00:10:02,595 --> 00:10:03,595
Okay.
119
00:10:09,515 --> 00:10:10,675
- Raphi?
- Hi.
120
00:10:10,795 --> 00:10:12,195
Hi, I'm Alex.
121
00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:14,755
How are you?
Sorry I'm late.
122
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:18,155
- Fine, and you?
- Fine, have you been waiting long?
123
00:10:18,275 --> 00:10:19,915
- No, not at all.
- Okay.
124
00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:24,035
- Where are you from?
- I'm French.
125
00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:26,395
- Yes, you have an accent.
- Yes, horrible, right?
126
00:10:26,475 --> 00:10:29,675
No, come on, I love it.
I lived in Paris.
127
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:33,195
- Whereabouts in France?
- I was born in Perpignan.
128
00:10:33,635 --> 00:10:36,315
- What do you do?
- I'm a musician.
129
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:39,195
- Musician? Wow.
- Yes.
130
00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:41,235
- How cool is that.
- I play the guitar.
131
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:44,955
- I have an Indie band, in Catalan.
- Cool!
132
00:10:45,075 --> 00:10:48,755
Yes, it's really nice.
And you? You're also really creative.
133
00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:52,553
Well, yes. I write sometimes...
134
00:10:52,675 --> 00:10:55,595
- Do you write too?
- Yes, I write.
135
00:10:56,275 --> 00:10:59,915
I like a lot of things.
136
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,035
I like art in general,
photography, fashion, but...
137
00:11:03,155 --> 00:11:03,915
Of course, fashion.
138
00:11:04,035 --> 00:11:06,433
Why did you choose to be
a designer or...?
139
00:11:06,553 --> 00:11:09,275
Well, I'm not a designer.
I work in a call centre.
140
00:11:09,395 --> 00:11:11,433
- Well, still...
- Yeah, fashion...
141
00:11:11,515 --> 00:11:14,275
- Well... it's my passion.
- Our job isn't who we are.
142
00:11:14,395 --> 00:11:18,955
- We are what we like.
- That's true. Yes, totally.
143
00:11:19,075 --> 00:11:22,795
Me too, I was into this
since I was little, and...
144
00:11:23,035 --> 00:11:25,355
Did you dress up as a child?
145
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:28,195
- I imagine...
- With my mother's clothes.
146
00:11:28,515 --> 00:11:33,195
- Did you?
- Of course. I made up my stories...
147
00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:35,195
And you design your own...?
148
00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:37,433
It's really flamboyant,
but in a cool way.
149
00:11:37,675 --> 00:11:39,915
- Really? You like it?
- Yes.
150
00:11:40,035 --> 00:11:41,635
Nice. I'm glad.
151
00:11:43,515 --> 00:11:44,835
What do you think of me?
152
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:48,875
- I don't know, I like yours too.
- Yeah?
153
00:11:48,995 --> 00:11:50,395
Yes, it's very...
154
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:54,195
- Musician look.
- Yeah, a bit. It suits you.
155
00:11:54,315 --> 00:11:55,475
Yeah.
156
00:12:07,195 --> 00:12:08,875
It's a bit late.
157
00:12:09,275 --> 00:12:11,195
- I have to go.
- Yeah?
158
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,115
- Okay.
- It's a bit late for me.
159
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,515
- Did you enjoy yourself?
- I did.
160
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,355
- Yeah? Me too.
- Cool.
161
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:20,635
- I really liked getting to know you.
- Thank you, me too.
162
00:12:22,715 --> 00:12:26,475
Well, it's a shame that
you're leaving alone like this.
163
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:29,635
Well, if you want
to tell me something more...
164
00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:32,875
What?
What do you want me to tell you?
165
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:35,755
Something about you,
I don't know.
166
00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:38,955
Like what?
I don't know. What do you want to know?
167
00:12:40,075 --> 00:12:43,595
Well.
I've always been with girls.
168
00:12:44,955 --> 00:12:49,275
I mean, with "girls-girls".
That were born girls.
169
00:12:51,715 --> 00:12:54,795
So I'm...
170
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,355
I mean, it doesn't bother me.
171
00:12:56,433 --> 00:12:58,475
But I didn't know
if you wanted to tell me.
172
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,635
I don't know what to tell you.
173
00:13:04,755 --> 00:13:06,715
Yes, I was born...
174
00:13:08,115 --> 00:13:11,835
a boy
but it doesn't make me less of a girl.
175
00:13:11,915 --> 00:13:14,915
- I mean, I don't think so.
- No, of course.
176
00:13:17,515 --> 00:13:18,595
I don't know.
177
00:13:20,275 --> 00:13:23,035
- See you another day?
- Yes.
178
00:13:30,795 --> 00:13:32,875
- Well, I'm leaving.
- Okay.
179
00:13:32,995 --> 00:13:34,553
- Take care.
- Take care.
180
00:13:34,675 --> 00:13:36,075
- Bye.
- We'll talk, okay?
181
00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:37,675
Okay, perfect.
182
00:13:54,155 --> 00:13:56,595
That's it! Wow!
183
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:58,795
Come on!
184
00:13:59,835 --> 00:14:02,115
Much better!
185
00:14:02,235 --> 00:14:04,515
That's how I like it! Good, Raphi!
186
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:08,275
I want you to push harder.
187
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:12,875
Okay, let's do it again, Sexy!
188
00:14:13,915 --> 00:14:19,035
That's it, loosen your shoulders...
A little bigger.
189
00:14:19,155 --> 00:14:22,635
That's it! This is almost over.
190
00:14:23,035 --> 00:14:26,995
And each time
we raise our arms, we yell.
191
00:14:29,915 --> 00:14:31,275
I can't hear you!
192
00:14:31,515 --> 00:14:35,475
- How are you feeling?
- Fine, honestly. I'm fine.
193
00:14:35,595 --> 00:14:37,075
You look really good.
194
00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:41,915
Have you noticed any side effects
since the treatment started?
195
00:14:42,035 --> 00:14:45,315
At first, yes.
A lot of mood swings.
196
00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:50,115
Everything affected me,
I cried without knowing why...
197
00:14:50,435 --> 00:14:54,075
Things like that.
And now, I'm getting used to it,
198
00:14:54,155 --> 00:14:56,155
and I'm doing better.
199
00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:58,235
You are dealing with your emotions.
200
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:02,595
All these changes
are normal with oestrogens.
201
00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:03,595
Alright.
202
00:15:03,715 --> 00:15:06,595
It is clear that
you look a lot more feminine.
203
00:15:06,715 --> 00:15:08,875
- Thank you.
- The analysis is correct.
204
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,875
I think it's the perfect time
205
00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:13,675
to have your first meeting
with the surgeon.
206
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,955
- What do you think?
- With the surgeon?
207
00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:17,115
Yes.
208
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,435
It would be the first visit.
209
00:15:21,555 --> 00:15:25,235
Have you seriously thought
about reassignment?
210
00:15:27,155 --> 00:15:29,515
Well, it seems really early.
211
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,195
I mean, I'm not...
212
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:34,395
at that stage yet.
213
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:39,235
- You're at this stage.
- What do you mean?
214
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,875
You've done the whole treatment
for a year...
215
00:15:41,995 --> 00:15:43,715
One year seems very little to me.
216
00:15:44,035 --> 00:15:45,995
But, have you made a decision?
217
00:15:46,955 --> 00:15:48,195
Not yet.
218
00:15:50,395 --> 00:15:54,275
Have you had any sexual intercourse
this year?
219
00:15:54,715 --> 00:15:56,515
- No.
- No.
220
00:15:57,475 --> 00:15:58,595
Alright.
221
00:16:01,115 --> 00:16:02,475
Let's see...
222
00:16:04,315 --> 00:16:08,395
I think I can give you
two or three months
223
00:16:08,515 --> 00:16:11,595
so you can make
an informed decision
224
00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:13,595
of what you really want to do.
225
00:16:14,595 --> 00:16:17,435
- I'll explain.
- I know what I want right now.
226
00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:18,795
What do you want?
227
00:16:19,835 --> 00:16:22,075
I want to meet a man
who loves me as I am
228
00:16:22,195 --> 00:16:24,675
without having to change, that's it.
229
00:16:24,755 --> 00:16:25,795
Right.
230
00:16:27,115 --> 00:16:29,155
Can I give you a personal advice
231
00:16:29,275 --> 00:16:32,795
supported by years of experience
in this department?
232
00:16:34,355 --> 00:16:38,955
If you continue to have
a male sexual organ,
233
00:16:39,075 --> 00:16:41,755
you'll be fetishized
234
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,555
by the majority of the men you meet
235
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:47,675
and you'll probably feel
like a sex object.
236
00:16:47,755 --> 00:16:49,595
I'm not really sure.
237
00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:52,435
Unfortunately, that's how it is.
238
00:16:52,555 --> 00:16:54,835
Some won't, but that's the usual.
239
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:59,195
If it's okay for you, let's see
each other again in a few months.
240
00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:00,795
- Okay.
- Meanwhile, continue
241
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,475
with the hormone treatment
like you've been doing
242
00:17:03,595 --> 00:17:05,795
and try to have sexual intercourse
243
00:17:05,915 --> 00:17:07,675
to see what happens, how you feel.
244
00:17:07,795 --> 00:17:09,993
- Where you stand.
- Okay.
245
00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:14,275
FRENCH, ROMANTIC AND TRANS.
246
00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:17,035
WOW! YOU DON'T LOOK TRANS.
247
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:21,515
- WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE THEN?
- A GIRL.
248
00:17:21,635 --> 00:17:22,915
Raphaëlle.
249
00:17:26,315 --> 00:17:27,835
HAVE YOU HAD SURGERY?
250
00:17:28,075 --> 00:17:29,555
NO
251
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,355
THEN WHY DON'T YOU LOOK FOR A GIRL?
252
00:17:32,475 --> 00:17:34,955
BECAUSE I'M STRAIGHT
253
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,435
THAT TURNS ME ON
254
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:38,955
TURNS YOU ON?
255
00:17:39,115 --> 00:17:40,315
THE UNKNOWN
256
00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:42,275
I'M NOT AN ALIEN
257
00:17:48,755 --> 00:17:49,755
Hello.
258
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:51,275
- Hello.
- You're A it or, right?
259
00:17:51,355 --> 00:17:53,355
- Yes, and you are Raphi?
- Yes.
260
00:17:53,435 --> 00:17:55,595
- How are you?
- Fine, and you?
261
00:17:55,715 --> 00:17:56,875
I'm fine, too.
262
00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:01,955
You look definitely better in person
263
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,635
compared to your photos.
264
00:18:03,755 --> 00:18:07,795
Really? that's a compliment,
thank you.
265
00:18:12,035 --> 00:18:14,435
- You seem nervous.
- No.
266
00:18:14,555 --> 00:18:15,955
- Aren't you?
- No.
267
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:17,715
Okay.
268
00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:21,675
But are you okay?
You seem...
269
00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:24,035
very closed off.
Is there something wrong?
270
00:18:24,155 --> 00:18:26,595
No, I'm fine, it's...
271
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:30,355
Nothing... stuff.
You know.
272
00:18:30,635 --> 00:18:33,155
- Work stuff...
- You can tell me if you need to.
273
00:18:33,275 --> 00:18:34,795
I don't want to see you so...
274
00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:38,475
I don't know you well enough
to tell you all that.
275
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:41,355
I don't know, I don't want
to burden you.
276
00:18:41,435 --> 00:18:43,915
Me too, I'm nervous.
277
00:18:43,993 --> 00:18:46,315
- Maybe you can't tell but...
- Doesn't seem like it.
278
00:18:46,435 --> 00:18:47,195
Well, I am.
279
00:18:47,315 --> 00:18:49,915
It seems like
you do it every day.
280
00:18:51,075 --> 00:18:52,075
Well.
281
00:18:52,195 --> 00:18:53,355
Do you usually
282
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,475
meet up with people
on these kinds of apps to fuck?
283
00:19:00,195 --> 00:19:03,275
- I don't know.
- What do you mean, you don't know?
284
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:07,795
I'm looking for boys.
But then meeting up is more difficult.
285
00:19:10,155 --> 00:19:13,115
Why?
On your side or theirs?
286
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:15,993
No, on theirs.
287
00:19:16,315 --> 00:19:18,915
- Oh really? Why?
- Yes.
288
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,755
Well...
289
00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:26,555
I don't really know.
290
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:32,915
You don't know
or you don't want to tell me?
291
00:19:34,233 --> 00:19:37,675
Well, you can imagine it,
I'm not gonna draw you a picture.
292
00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:39,395
Well.
293
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,955
Let's say I don't have
a lot of imagination. Tell me.
294
00:19:44,993 --> 00:19:48,035
No, tell me about yourself.
295
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:52,075
You haven't even told me where you live,
or what's your job. You are the mystery.
296
00:19:52,195 --> 00:19:55,115
The most important thing
is to be safe, okay?
297
00:19:55,635 --> 00:19:57,915
Be safe?
What are you talking about?
298
00:19:58,035 --> 00:20:01,155
I'm saying this because you told me
I should buy the condoms.
299
00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:04,233
I thought maybe sometimes
you don't use condoms.
300
00:20:04,355 --> 00:20:06,355
- Do you use condoms?
- What? Of course.
301
00:20:06,475 --> 00:20:07,595
Okay.
302
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,595
Isn't it normal for me to ask you that?
303
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,915
- Yes.
- You are the one who's gonna wear them.
304
00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:18,955
Yeah well, I don't know.
But If I didn't buy them, then what?
305
00:21:02,115 --> 00:21:04,195
- Is anyone here?
- I don't know.
306
00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:06,195
Come.
307
00:21:24,755 --> 00:21:28,075
- Nice room.
- Yeah? Thanks.
308
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,195
- Ready?
- Yes.
309
00:23:28,155 --> 00:23:31,275
- What's wrong?
- It hurts.
310
00:23:32,275 --> 00:23:34,515
- A little more gentle?
- Yes.
311
00:24:21,675 --> 00:24:22,795
What's wrong?
312
00:24:31,315 --> 00:24:33,315
- Should we continue?
- No!
313
00:24:51,715 --> 00:24:53,355
Where's the bathroom?
314
00:24:53,795 --> 00:24:55,555
That way, behind.
315
00:25:43,035 --> 00:25:44,755
- I'm gonna go, okay?
- Okay.
316
00:25:45,475 --> 00:25:49,035
I want the surgery,
but I'm really lost.
317
00:25:49,155 --> 00:25:51,075
Because I have many doubts,
318
00:25:51,355 --> 00:25:53,075
a lot of fear...
319
00:25:53,315 --> 00:25:56,115
Because if I get the surgery,
320
00:25:56,195 --> 00:26:00,075
I want to have a normal,
321
00:26:00,195 --> 00:26:03,515
and functional life,
that if I touch myself, I feel it,
322
00:26:03,795 --> 00:26:04,875
and everything else.
323
00:26:04,955 --> 00:26:07,155
In that sense,
I want to tell you that nowadays,
324
00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:09,195
with almost any surgeon
325
00:26:09,275 --> 00:26:12,675
you will have
the sensibility issue solved.
326
00:26:13,275 --> 00:26:17,915
If you've had
a more or less fulfilling sex life,
327
00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:19,115
as much as possible.
328
00:26:19,355 --> 00:26:22,115
This will surely benefit
329
00:26:22,275 --> 00:26:24,835
the sexuality after the vagina.
330
00:26:24,955 --> 00:26:26,275
And that's not up to the surgeon.
331
00:26:26,355 --> 00:26:29,755
That also depends on ourselves,
and it's one of the things
332
00:26:29,875 --> 00:26:33,993
that we try to work on here.
333
00:26:34,075 --> 00:26:36,715
The surgery also scares me a lot.
334
00:26:37,435 --> 00:26:38,955
It scares me
335
00:26:39,395 --> 00:26:41,233
because of what it is,
because of the blood,
336
00:26:41,355 --> 00:26:43,715
or the operating room...
337
00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:45,675
I know nothing about the topic,
338
00:26:45,755 --> 00:26:49,195
and I'm here because they told me
I'd find the information
339
00:26:49,315 --> 00:26:53,035
I need to make a decision.
340
00:26:53,115 --> 00:26:55,195
I'm going to ask you a question, Raphi.
341
00:26:55,595 --> 00:26:59,315
What are your expectations
342
00:26:59,915 --> 00:27:01,595
for the vaginoplasty, at the moment?
343
00:27:01,675 --> 00:27:04,993
When you have a vagina,
the day you do,
344
00:27:05,515 --> 00:27:07,875
how do you imagine yourself?
345
00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:12,075
But I don't know if I want to have one.
346
00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:13,715
You don't know. Okay.
347
00:27:13,835 --> 00:27:16,715
- Not yet.
- You still don't know.
348
00:27:16,993 --> 00:27:18,155
Let me tell you something:
349
00:27:18,275 --> 00:27:20,955
when the time comes
you will be under anaesthesia
350
00:27:21,075 --> 00:27:22,915
and you won't feel a thing.
351
00:27:23,435 --> 00:27:27,755
We can all agree, I mean
everyone that has gone through it.
352
00:27:28,115 --> 00:27:30,915
At your age, I would say don't worry.
353
00:27:32,155 --> 00:27:35,115
You will go through
a physical transition
354
00:27:35,233 --> 00:27:37,035
that is permanent.
355
00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:42,275
So, give yourself time,
to know when you're ready.
356
00:27:42,395 --> 00:27:46,395
And the real fear
comes when you stop loving yourself.
357
00:27:46,555 --> 00:27:50,275
If you keep loving yourself,
I don't know why but the fear.
358
00:27:51,355 --> 00:27:55,115
But what's interesting
359
00:27:55,315 --> 00:27:58,315
is that, nowadays, you can say that.
360
00:28:01,715 --> 00:28:07,075
Before, in the 70's and 80's
361
00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:11,355
people with botched surgeries
didn't say anything.
362
00:28:11,993 --> 00:28:15,075
Because of the fear of being judged.
363
00:28:15,875 --> 00:28:18,993
Then, we have this one here,
also from Spain.
364
00:28:19,275 --> 00:28:22,835
We can see that the urinary tract
is very red.
365
00:28:22,915 --> 00:28:25,075
This is a sign of inflammation
366
00:28:25,315 --> 00:28:27,635
and possibly an infection
367
00:28:27,755 --> 00:28:30,075
and it's also facing up.
368
00:28:30,195 --> 00:28:33,515
So, the urine
comes out like a sprinkler,
369
00:28:33,635 --> 00:28:35,395
sometimes, getting their clothes wet,
370
00:28:35,475 --> 00:28:38,355
even spraying outside
of the toilet. That could happen.
371
00:28:38,475 --> 00:28:40,835
Above, is the clitoris.
We can see it has
372
00:28:40,955 --> 00:28:46,795
labia minor a and a very small hood
that doesn't really cover it.
373
00:28:46,915 --> 00:28:48,515
That's also missing.
374
00:28:49,233 --> 00:28:50,595
And this one here,
375
00:28:51,115 --> 00:28:52,715
is a necrosis.
376
00:28:52,835 --> 00:28:58,075
We can see
the tissue under the clitoris,
377
00:28:59,835 --> 00:29:03,195
with the corresponding fibrin
and the tissue badly stitched.
378
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:09,435
They went back to surgery. And as
all the tissue underneath was damaged
379
00:29:09,515 --> 00:29:12,395
they faced the clitoris up,
I guess.
380
00:29:12,755 --> 00:29:15,075
They leave it out.
381
00:29:15,195 --> 00:29:16,795
That's really uncomfortable.
382
00:29:53,635 --> 00:29:55,515
- Hello.
- Hello, it's Raphi.
383
00:29:55,635 --> 00:29:56,755
Come in.
384
00:30:03,435 --> 00:30:04,515
The bass.
385
00:30:08,395 --> 00:30:10,595
- Your bass.
- I don't know how to sing it.
386
00:30:10,715 --> 00:30:12,315
No, here.
387
00:30:16,035 --> 00:30:18,475
Ladies, do you know
how to open the wine?
388
00:30:32,115 --> 00:30:34,315
Fucking hell, what's going on here?
389
00:30:35,035 --> 00:30:36,595
Do you want me to show it to you?
390
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:37,835
You think?
391
00:30:37,915 --> 00:30:39,915
So you can see
what the surgery looks like.
392
00:30:39,995 --> 00:30:43,115
- Okay.
- Look.
393
00:30:45,115 --> 00:30:46,195
See?
394
00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:48,475
It's closed, you don't see anything,
395
00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:53,875
because if you see the clitoris,
it can rub and cause problems.
396
00:30:53,995 --> 00:30:58,475
But if I open it, you can see
the hood of the clitoris, the clitoris,
397
00:30:59,555 --> 00:31:02,395
here's the urethra
and the vaginal opening underneath.
398
00:31:02,475 --> 00:31:04,795
- Okay.
- I like it a lot.
399
00:31:04,995 --> 00:31:06,635
Did you imagine it like this?
400
00:31:06,835 --> 00:31:10,235
I had no idea.
It's the first time.
401
00:31:12,675 --> 00:31:14,995
- Well, now you've seen it.
- Well, yeah.
402
00:31:16,635 --> 00:31:18,875
Well, that's it.
403
00:31:18,955 --> 00:31:23,235
Other than the fact that I like it,
404
00:31:23,355 --> 00:31:25,835
it works well because I have orgasms...
405
00:31:25,955 --> 00:31:27,955
Oh, that's great.
That's the most important.
406
00:31:34,275 --> 00:31:36,755
- Raphi.
- Hello. Raphi, nice to meet you.
407
00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:39,835
Were you playing in our absence
to practice and beat us?
408
00:31:39,955 --> 00:31:42,675
- I'm Raphi, nice to meet you.
- Who knows...
409
00:31:42,795 --> 00:31:46,595
Use your hand as if you're shooting
a rifle.
410
00:31:46,715 --> 00:31:47,875
Like this, don't move.
411
00:31:48,195 --> 00:31:50,795
Try to hit it in the middle,
or it will jump.
412
00:31:50,915 --> 00:31:51,835
- Damn it.
- There.
413
00:31:51,955 --> 00:31:53,595
- Is it good now?
- Yes, hit it, but...
414
00:31:54,795 --> 00:31:57,795
- Almost.
- No, I'm really bad, I'm sorry ladies.
415
00:31:58,475 --> 00:31:59,955
I don't know how to play this.
416
00:32:00,235 --> 00:32:02,675
After a while, his friend says:
417
00:32:02,755 --> 00:32:04,195
You would get along with my friend
418
00:32:04,275 --> 00:32:06,995
because he's a nature freak like you.
419
00:32:07,435 --> 00:32:11,555
And then we exchanged numbers,
we started talking,
420
00:32:11,675 --> 00:32:15,195
we started going to the mountains...
up until today.
421
00:32:15,355 --> 00:32:16,395
Cool.
422
00:32:16,595 --> 00:32:18,235
I fell in love on the first day,
423
00:32:18,355 --> 00:32:22,035
when he jumped
into the mud to see a salamander larva.
424
00:32:22,155 --> 00:32:24,515
When I saw him on the ground,
I thought: "That's my man!"
425
00:32:26,715 --> 00:32:30,115
Someone who dives
into the mud to see a salamander.
426
00:32:31,515 --> 00:32:32,915
That's beautiful.
427
00:32:33,235 --> 00:32:34,515
I'm alone.
428
00:32:36,035 --> 00:32:39,755
But do you meet people?
Do you party?
429
00:32:41,155 --> 00:32:42,595
Or do you have...?
430
00:32:44,075 --> 00:32:47,795
I don't know.
I don't go out much.
431
00:32:48,755 --> 00:32:53,195
I'm on Tinder, like most of us,
432
00:32:54,435 --> 00:32:57,795
but Tinder grosses me out a bit, for us.
It's complicated, isn't it?
433
00:32:58,035 --> 00:33:01,915
Actually, since many boys
don't know I'm trans,
434
00:33:01,995 --> 00:33:05,835
one day, out of the blue,
I bring the topic up:
435
00:33:05,955 --> 00:33:10,235
"Actually,
all of this gay and trans issues..."
436
00:33:10,315 --> 00:33:12,675
And some people say:
437
00:33:12,795 --> 00:33:16,395
"Yeah, those people that think
they're women".
438
00:33:16,515 --> 00:33:18,595
And me:
"Oh, interesting...".
439
00:33:18,715 --> 00:33:21,795
Well because you pass.
440
00:33:22,715 --> 00:33:23,835
People are like that.
441
00:33:23,915 --> 00:33:28,155
Later, you go on a date,
they see you and they get scared.
442
00:33:28,275 --> 00:33:31,235
- And they can behave badly.
- But not with you.
443
00:33:31,315 --> 00:33:33,315
- I'm sure they don't.
- It has happened to me.
444
00:33:33,755 --> 00:33:37,675
I think it's good
if you're on Tinder and you say:
445
00:33:37,795 --> 00:33:41,675
"I'm trans". And whoever
wants to meet me, can add me.
446
00:33:41,795 --> 00:33:46,235
Yes, but there are many
who are interested in us for...
447
00:33:46,395 --> 00:33:49,235
well, for what I have.
Because you've already...
448
00:33:49,355 --> 00:33:53,875
Oh, okay, that scenario.
That's very hard.
449
00:33:53,995 --> 00:33:56,835
Of course, if you write that
it becomes a sexual fetish.
450
00:33:57,115 --> 00:33:59,355
- Yeah.
- Like: "Hi! I'm a sex object."
451
00:33:59,475 --> 00:34:03,075
- Have you ever met people like that?
- Yes.
452
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,984
When you bring it up,
is like: "I don't know about this."
453
00:34:06,035 --> 00:34:10,555
There are three options:
it goes well, and they don't care.
454
00:34:10,675 --> 00:34:12,395
Two: they tell you to go to hell.
455
00:34:12,515 --> 00:34:16,555
Or three, they're really interested,
because of a sexual fetish.
456
00:34:16,675 --> 00:34:18,593
"I never did this,
but I want to try."
457
00:34:18,715 --> 00:34:22,875
TALK TO ME LIKE YOU WOULD TALK
TO A CIS WOMAN.
458
00:34:30,395 --> 00:34:32,915
WHAT FILM ARE YOU PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD?
459
00:34:33,593 --> 00:34:35,195
FILM?
460
00:34:35,355 --> 00:34:37,515
YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN
461
00:34:37,715 --> 00:34:39,435
AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE
462
00:34:40,435 --> 00:34:42,195
A FAT PIECE OF SHIT
463
00:34:42,555 --> 00:34:44,155
HI
464
00:34:46,755 --> 00:34:48,635
CIS?
465
00:34:50,155 --> 00:34:51,675
HI
466
00:34:51,835 --> 00:34:53,195
TRANS
467
00:34:57,355 --> 00:35:00,915
AND I CAN'T BREATHE
468
00:35:06,955 --> 00:35:11,593
I came back a week ago,
a little more, ten days ago.
469
00:35:11,715 --> 00:35:13,755
- Where were you before?
- I was in Madrid.
470
00:35:13,835 --> 00:35:16,515
For a while, for a project.
471
00:35:16,593 --> 00:35:21,315
And now, I'm back in Barcelona,
and I'm getting back on track.
472
00:35:22,155 --> 00:35:23,435
Nice.
473
00:35:23,515 --> 00:35:25,315
Do you like the neighbourhood?
474
00:35:25,435 --> 00:35:27,515
Yes, it's fine.
I found a good place.
475
00:35:27,635 --> 00:35:30,955
- But until I organise everything...
- Little by little.
476
00:35:31,035 --> 00:35:33,195
It's a little stressful.
477
00:35:34,035 --> 00:35:37,795
- But it will work out.
- And what about work?
478
00:35:37,995 --> 00:35:39,475
What do you do?
479
00:35:39,593 --> 00:35:41,515
I work in the pharmaceutical industry.
480
00:35:42,795 --> 00:35:43,795
What's that about?
481
00:35:45,593 --> 00:35:50,395
It's a little hard to explain.
I design studies.
482
00:35:50,515 --> 00:35:53,915
I mean, I'm not in the laboratory
with a lab coat.
483
00:35:54,875 --> 00:35:56,395
I design the studies that show
484
00:35:56,515 --> 00:35:59,755
the viability, the safety,
the efficiency of a medicine.
485
00:35:59,915 --> 00:36:04,955
To release a new drug,
or to develop a generic...
486
00:36:46,715 --> 00:36:48,555
Nowadays, the body
imposes itself as
487
00:36:48,635 --> 00:36:50,555
a predilection site
for the social discourse.
488
00:36:51,475 --> 00:36:54,075
What does that mean? The body...?
489
00:36:54,315 --> 00:36:56,395
"These days, the body poses
as the
490
00:36:56,515 --> 00:36:59,275
preferred subject
of social discourse."
491
00:37:02,915 --> 00:37:05,075
Look!
They forgot to dress this one.
492
00:37:05,195 --> 00:37:06,593
No!
493
00:37:06,835 --> 00:37:09,995
It's to show
what the exhibition is about.
494
00:37:10,113 --> 00:37:12,235
About how fashion
modified the body.
495
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:16,395
It shows how they used
bustles to make it bigger.
496
00:37:16,515 --> 00:37:20,235
It was the beauty standard of the time.
497
00:37:20,315 --> 00:37:22,075
They had to have a big butt, or...
498
00:37:22,155 --> 00:37:23,715
- Of course.
- It wouldn't work.
499
00:37:24,755 --> 00:37:27,113
And these are from the 20's.
500
00:37:28,435 --> 00:37:29,955
"Les années folles", you know?
501
00:37:30,075 --> 00:37:31,515
- What?
- "Les années folles."
502
00:37:31,635 --> 00:37:33,675
- Oh, yeah.
- That period.
503
00:37:33,795 --> 00:37:37,435
The straight lines,
women with no chest, no hips.
504
00:37:37,555 --> 00:37:40,275
Everything very straight and linear.
505
00:37:40,515 --> 00:37:42,555
I like it a lot.
506
00:37:42,675 --> 00:37:44,593
Very shiny too.
507
00:37:46,035 --> 00:37:47,195
What's wrong?
508
00:37:48,395 --> 00:37:49,435
Nothing.
509
00:39:31,515 --> 00:39:32,675
Are you okay?
510
00:39:33,675 --> 00:39:34,995
Don't worry.
511
00:39:35,475 --> 00:39:38,315
Come. Don't worry.
512
00:39:39,195 --> 00:39:42,915
Okay. It's over. I'm sorry.
513
00:39:59,435 --> 00:40:02,875
I'm sorry.
Can I do something?
514
00:40:27,915 --> 00:40:29,915
The exhibition will last one month.
515
00:40:31,275 --> 00:40:33,593
Then the idea is
516
00:40:33,795 --> 00:40:36,315
taking it to other centres.
517
00:40:36,675 --> 00:40:39,195
I'd like you to introduce yourselves
518
00:40:39,275 --> 00:40:42,113
and explain your work a little bit.
519
00:40:42,235 --> 00:40:45,995
Well, I'll start.
My name is Claudia, and I'm a writer.
520
00:40:46,315 --> 00:40:50,795
I wanted to show
a poem that I wrote a few months ago,
521
00:40:50,875 --> 00:40:53,195
right when
I came out of the closet.
522
00:40:53,593 --> 00:40:56,315
I'm looking forward to
523
00:40:56,435 --> 00:40:59,195
seeing it on these walls
and sharing it with people.
524
00:41:00,635 --> 00:41:02,155
It's my turn, right?
525
00:41:03,755 --> 00:41:07,675
My name is Raphi,
and I'm from France.
526
00:41:09,315 --> 00:41:14,113
The truth is that, I don't know
what I'm going to exhibit.
527
00:41:15,635 --> 00:41:21,035
We reached out to you
because of your texts on Instagram?
528
00:41:21,155 --> 00:41:22,235
Yes.
529
00:41:22,355 --> 00:41:25,593
But if you want to do
something more performative.
530
00:41:25,915 --> 00:41:28,715
- Is that possible?
- Yes, whatever you want.
531
00:41:29,915 --> 00:41:32,395
Yeah, I don't know.
I thought of sharing some texts.
532
00:41:32,515 --> 00:41:37,195
But I don't know if you want
something really specific...
533
00:41:37,315 --> 00:41:39,315
Whatever you want to express,
534
00:41:39,435 --> 00:41:44,955
whatever you want to say,
without restraints or barriers.
535
00:41:45,035 --> 00:41:46,113
Okay.
536
00:42:16,395 --> 00:42:18,635
- Hi.
- How are you?
537
00:42:18,755 --> 00:42:20,515
- Fine, and you?
- Fine.
538
00:42:20,635 --> 00:42:22,155
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
539
00:42:22,555 --> 00:42:23,835
- What's that?
- White wine.
540
00:42:23,955 --> 00:42:26,555
- You didn't have to.
- Well, I really wanted to.
541
00:42:26,635 --> 00:42:28,875
- Perfect, come in.
- Thank you.
542
00:42:30,235 --> 00:42:31,755
How was your week? How did it go?
543
00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:35,235
Fine. It was busy.
544
00:42:35,395 --> 00:42:36,515
Cheers.
545
00:42:36,635 --> 00:42:37,675
How about you?
546
00:42:39,355 --> 00:42:42,113
Fine, it was a calm week.
547
00:42:42,715 --> 00:42:45,475
- You look very pretty.
- Thank you, you too.
548
00:42:48,955 --> 00:42:51,593
Well, I was a little worried
the other day.
549
00:42:52,955 --> 00:42:53,835
Do you feel better?
550
00:42:53,955 --> 00:42:55,593
- Yes.
- Yeah?
551
00:42:55,715 --> 00:42:57,593
- Yeah, don't worry.
- We didn't talk about it.
552
00:42:57,675 --> 00:42:59,593
- Yeah.
- I didn't know...
553
00:43:01,315 --> 00:43:01,995
Well, that's it.
554
00:43:02,113 --> 00:43:04,915
- Don't talk about it anymore.
- I will not.
555
00:43:05,395 --> 00:43:07,235
Okay, perfect.
556
00:43:49,113 --> 00:43:50,113
Do you want to?
557
00:43:51,755 --> 00:43:52,795
You don't?
558
00:43:53,755 --> 00:43:55,995
Okay, it's fine.
559
00:45:03,955 --> 00:45:05,555
- Good morning.
- Hi.
560
00:45:05,675 --> 00:45:07,075
- How are you?
- I'm fine, you?
561
00:45:07,195 --> 00:45:09,395
- Fine. Did you sleep well?
- Yes.
562
00:45:17,675 --> 00:45:20,395
I don't think I have anything
for breakfast.
563
00:45:20,515 --> 00:45:21,755
- No?
- No.
564
00:45:27,755 --> 00:45:30,635
Cool.
Can we take a picture?
565
00:45:30,755 --> 00:45:33,875
- Of what?
- I don't know, a selfie.
566
00:45:34,475 --> 00:45:35,635
- If you want to.
- Can we?
567
00:45:35,755 --> 00:45:36,835
Yeah, of course.
568
00:45:37,113 --> 00:45:38,475
- Come on.
- On top of it?
569
00:45:45,515 --> 00:45:46,795
Come on.
570
00:46:17,915 --> 00:46:19,504
Don't look that much,
you look very pretty.
571
00:46:19,555 --> 00:46:20,755
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
572
00:46:20,875 --> 00:46:21,875
Okay.
573
00:46:22,555 --> 00:46:25,113
I don't know if this is my style.
574
00:46:25,235 --> 00:46:28,555
- You don't like it?
- No, it's cool but...
575
00:46:28,675 --> 00:46:30,555
- I have to think about it.
- Okay.
576
00:46:30,635 --> 00:46:32,395
- Hi, good morning.
- Hi.
577
00:46:32,515 --> 00:46:34,035
Can I help you?
578
00:46:34,113 --> 00:46:37,515
Well, we're just looking,
because I need to furnish
579
00:46:37,593 --> 00:46:40,075
my entire flat.
I've just moved in nearby.
580
00:46:41,235 --> 00:46:45,475
Okay, if you need information
or you want to buy something...
581
00:46:45,915 --> 00:46:49,235
- Honey?
- I do want to buy!
582
00:46:49,475 --> 00:46:53,675
- Sofas? They're over there, right?
- Yes, sofas on that side.
583
00:46:54,715 --> 00:46:57,395
OMG! I love this one.
584
00:46:58,155 --> 00:47:00,395
- I love this one.
- No way!
585
00:47:01,355 --> 00:47:02,995
- Sit down.
- Let's see.
586
00:47:05,875 --> 00:47:08,593
- It's cool, isn't it?
- Very cool.
587
00:47:08,835 --> 00:47:12,195
- Where would you put this?
- I don't know, in the bathroom?
588
00:47:12,315 --> 00:47:13,875
In the bathroom?
589
00:47:15,235 --> 00:47:18,195
Well. I'll have to think about it.
590
00:47:19,195 --> 00:47:20,915
It's very original.
591
00:47:21,075 --> 00:47:23,035
- Very beautiful.
- Just original?
592
00:47:23,113 --> 00:47:24,795
- Well...
- Don't you like it?
593
00:47:24,915 --> 00:47:28,113
- You definitely like it more.
- I love it!
594
00:47:45,235 --> 00:47:46,515
Do you want to come in?
595
00:47:47,875 --> 00:47:50,435
I'd love to,
but if you don't mind
596
00:47:50,555 --> 00:47:52,915
I'd rather use this time
to organise things
597
00:47:53,035 --> 00:47:54,915
before the weekend is over.
598
00:47:55,035 --> 00:47:58,835
Well, we could eat something.
We haven't eaten anything.
599
00:47:59,035 --> 00:48:00,035
Yeah...
600
00:48:01,835 --> 00:48:03,035
- You don't want to?
- I do.
601
00:48:03,155 --> 00:48:04,435
But I'd rather...
602
00:48:04,555 --> 00:48:08,555
Don't get upset,
but I have things to do...
603
00:48:08,635 --> 00:48:12,235
Okay. Me too,
I also have things to do.
604
00:48:12,355 --> 00:48:15,113
- Don't get upset.
- No, I'm not upset, don't worry.
605
00:48:15,235 --> 00:48:18,195
- Really? You seem...
- No, it's fine.
606
00:48:18,995 --> 00:48:20,675
- You sure?
- Yeah, that's fine.
607
00:48:20,795 --> 00:48:23,113
- I'll call you.
- Yes, of course.
608
00:48:23,235 --> 00:48:25,675
- We had a good time, right?
- Absolutely, I loved it.
609
00:48:25,795 --> 00:48:28,795
Don't worry.
That's what we'll do, okay?
610
00:48:28,915 --> 00:48:30,475
- Okay.
- Perfect.
611
00:48:39,035 --> 00:48:40,755
- Thanks a lot.
- Thank you.
612
00:48:40,875 --> 00:48:42,875
- Hey, you better call me.
- I'll call you.
613
00:48:53,515 --> 00:48:57,275
Well, well, well! Welcome!
Trinitat Vella!
614
00:48:57,395 --> 00:48:59,113
A loud applause!
615
00:49:03,435 --> 00:49:05,593
Come on, come on!
616
00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:08,555
Of course.
617
00:49:08,635 --> 00:49:14,235
Welcome to the first LGBTI exhibition
of Trinitat Vella called.
618
00:49:14,355 --> 00:49:15,915
"The Collective."
619
00:49:16,035 --> 00:49:17,355
Come here, Raphaëlle, my love.
620
00:49:17,475 --> 00:49:18,944
- Can I call you Raphi?
- Yes, of course.
621
00:49:18,995 --> 00:49:21,795
Raphi, for friends. French?
622
00:49:21,915 --> 00:49:26,195
- Yes, you can tell?
- No, not at all. You're from Cadiz!
623
00:49:28,995 --> 00:49:31,915
You look totally from the south,
my pussy.
624
00:49:32,755 --> 00:49:34,435
What do you have for us, my love?
625
00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:37,955
I brought some collages
I made a little while ago.
626
00:49:38,155 --> 00:49:41,235
"My Emptiness..."
This is yours, right?
627
00:49:41,355 --> 00:49:42,195
Yes.
628
00:49:42,315 --> 00:49:45,235
Stop seeing what you don't want to see.
629
00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:47,875
So deep, girl!
Were you high?
630
00:49:49,635 --> 00:49:50,795
To love,
631
00:49:51,275 --> 00:49:55,755
to build a relationship, a house,
632
00:49:55,835 --> 00:49:57,113
a home,
633
00:49:57,635 --> 00:50:01,675
to plan, to have kids, lots of them,
634
00:50:01,795 --> 00:50:03,555
to be happy with them,
635
00:50:03,675 --> 00:50:06,195
to spoil them, to take care of them,
636
00:50:06,275 --> 00:50:07,355
to adore them,
637
00:50:07,675 --> 00:50:10,315
to have a simple and peaceful life,
638
00:50:10,755 --> 00:50:13,593
to have a life that's
full of joy and happiness.
639
00:50:14,075 --> 00:50:16,113
To stop being a weirdo.
640
00:50:16,395 --> 00:50:20,075
To enjoy and to write a better future.
641
00:50:20,155 --> 00:50:21,593
More beautiful.
642
00:50:26,835 --> 00:50:28,315
- Very good.
- Thank you.
643
00:50:33,235 --> 00:50:35,315
- I loved it.
- Really?
644
00:50:36,395 --> 00:50:38,995
Yes, because I'm also a weirdo.
645
00:50:39,075 --> 00:50:40,195
In my own way
646
00:50:40,315 --> 00:50:44,515
and what we have to do is surrender and
start living for once in this fucking
647
00:50:44,635 --> 00:50:47,995
life and society,
even if it's really hard,
648
00:50:48,113 --> 00:50:49,675
we aren't alone.
649
00:50:49,795 --> 00:50:51,515
We have "The Dyke"...
650
00:50:53,835 --> 00:50:56,113
The entire collective,
and not only them,
651
00:50:56,235 --> 00:50:58,835
people in the neighbourhood
we are getting closer to.
652
00:50:58,915 --> 00:51:01,715
Making ourselves listened to.
653
00:51:01,835 --> 00:51:05,235
And although that respect
comes from just a few people,
654
00:51:05,355 --> 00:51:07,195
to feel
as if they were a thousand.
655
00:51:09,795 --> 00:51:13,675
He told me we were boys,
that there were boys with tits.
656
00:51:13,795 --> 00:51:16,475
We look at each other's breasts.
657
00:51:16,675 --> 00:51:19,435
Before, our breasts
were two big spheres
658
00:51:19,555 --> 00:51:21,715
and now, a mantle
of skin and textures.
659
00:51:21,835 --> 00:51:25,075
He told me we should
love our chest because it changes,
660
00:51:25,195 --> 00:51:28,075
takes on other forms,
another kind of softness
661
00:51:28,195 --> 00:51:30,395
and it gives us another type of pleasure
662
00:51:30,593 --> 00:51:32,475
that no one speaks of.
663
00:51:32,995 --> 00:51:35,475
We get lost
in their stretch marks,
664
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:38,275
in the ninety centimetres
that are no longer there,
665
00:51:38,435 --> 00:51:40,195
in the story it tells,
666
00:51:40,315 --> 00:51:43,315
in the echo of our new masculinity.
667
00:51:44,475 --> 00:51:45,835
With our sex,
668
00:51:45,955 --> 00:51:47,755
with our spectrum,
669
00:51:47,835 --> 00:51:50,795
with our androgyny,
with our new scars,
670
00:51:50,875 --> 00:51:52,995
and with our feminine curves.
671
00:51:54,675 --> 00:51:57,915
This body is our landscape,
672
00:51:58,075 --> 00:51:59,715
and here we stay.
673
00:52:10,515 --> 00:52:13,075
I don't know. Everyone's work
seemed better.
674
00:52:13,915 --> 00:52:17,315
- Well...
- The poems?
675
00:52:17,835 --> 00:52:21,555
- Everything.
- You can't compare.
676
00:52:21,635 --> 00:52:24,475
Some of your collages
are really interesting.
677
00:52:24,593 --> 00:52:26,795
- Very powerful.
- Yes.
678
00:52:27,035 --> 00:52:29,755
You have to keep developing
more and more,
679
00:52:29,875 --> 00:52:34,755
because you have something
very interesting.
680
00:52:34,875 --> 00:52:37,235
Well, the one about the king
creeped me out a little...
681
00:52:37,315 --> 00:52:39,515
Excuse me, ladies.
682
00:52:39,915 --> 00:52:43,355
Raphaëlle meet Carles.
683
00:52:43,475 --> 00:52:45,635
He's a theatre director and
he wants talk to you.
684
00:52:45,755 --> 00:52:47,475
Okay, great.
685
00:52:47,593 --> 00:52:50,875
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Raphi, nice to meet you.
686
00:52:50,955 --> 00:52:52,355
- Congratulations.
- Thanks a lot.
687
00:52:52,475 --> 00:52:55,593
I loved it, it really touched me.
688
00:52:56,715 --> 00:53:00,315
- Well, excuse me, I'm Carles.
- Anna.
689
00:53:00,995 --> 00:53:03,715
Maybe now isn't a good time.
690
00:53:04,315 --> 00:53:06,235
I have a theatre company.
691
00:53:06,355 --> 00:53:08,475
We are focused on documentary theatre.
692
00:53:08,593 --> 00:53:12,395
We work with people
that are not professional actors.
693
00:53:12,475 --> 00:53:15,275
I'd like to get a coffee
with you one day and talk...
694
00:53:15,395 --> 00:53:18,955
- Yes, perfect.
- Yeah? I'll give you my card.
695
00:53:19,155 --> 00:53:21,715
- Call me one day.
- Okay, great.
696
00:53:21,795 --> 00:53:24,235
Okay, here you go.
697
00:53:24,355 --> 00:53:26,435
- Great, thanks a lot.
- Take care.
698
00:53:26,515 --> 00:53:28,515
Thanks a lot, bye.
699
00:53:28,635 --> 00:53:34,035
Well, he didn't kiss me.
I don't know... how to take it.
700
00:53:57,035 --> 00:53:59,515
HI.
701
00:54:01,555 --> 00:54:03,515
HOW'S YOUR WEEK, HANDSOME?
702
00:54:19,555 --> 00:54:23,355
HEY, I'M FINE.
QUITE BUSY.
703
00:54:25,915 --> 00:54:29,395
Yes, today I am a woman with a penis.
704
00:54:29,915 --> 00:54:32,195
Do I have to change it for a vagina?
705
00:54:32,635 --> 00:54:34,715
Would that make me more normal?
706
00:54:35,035 --> 00:54:37,395
Being normal is just a concept.
707
00:54:37,515 --> 00:54:39,755
Being normal doesn't mean anything.
708
00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:42,593
Normality doesn't exist.
709
00:54:42,755 --> 00:54:45,593
Every one of us is one of a kind.
710
00:54:46,195 --> 00:54:49,675
A penis doesn't have
to be a limit or an obstacle
711
00:54:49,755 --> 00:54:51,715
in a woman's life.
712
00:54:51,915 --> 00:54:55,835
We, trans people don't have to change
our bodies.
713
00:54:55,955 --> 00:54:57,395
All we have to change
714
00:54:57,515 --> 00:55:00,593
is how people
keeps perceiving us nowadays.
715
00:55:01,355 --> 00:55:02,995
That's the real cause,
716
00:55:03,113 --> 00:55:04,593
we have to fight for.
717
00:55:05,235 --> 00:55:07,075
- Exactly.
- Very good.
718
00:55:07,195 --> 00:55:10,075
- An applause.
- Thank you.
719
00:55:11,475 --> 00:55:12,875
Thanks a lot.
720
00:55:13,875 --> 00:55:16,395
For me, there was a sentence that
721
00:55:16,475 --> 00:55:20,035
disrupted me a little bit.
722
00:55:20,675 --> 00:55:25,435
When you say we don't need
to change our body.
723
00:55:25,555 --> 00:55:28,755
What we need to change
is how others see us.
724
00:55:28,875 --> 00:55:29,675
Exactly.
725
00:55:29,795 --> 00:55:33,113
Obviously,
the second part is correct
726
00:55:33,235 --> 00:55:36,235
because social pressure exists.
727
00:55:36,355 --> 00:55:38,275
- Of course.
- But it exists for everybody.
728
00:55:38,395 --> 00:55:40,435
Even for queer people.
729
00:55:40,515 --> 00:55:42,995
Those queer people
that you just described here,
730
00:55:43,113 --> 00:55:44,715
where everyone is happy,
731
00:55:44,795 --> 00:55:49,075
everyone accepts themselves,
they don't have any problems.
732
00:55:49,195 --> 00:55:54,875
Well, I don't know.
That seems like Disneyland.
733
00:55:54,995 --> 00:55:59,235
I think that all queer people
have their own problems.
734
00:55:59,355 --> 00:56:01,275
Obviously. They are human beings.
735
00:56:01,395 --> 00:56:03,275
But why do we always fight
for ourselves
736
00:56:03,395 --> 00:56:08,675
and we don't fight with queer people
for these issues?
737
00:56:08,835 --> 00:56:13,035
I am going to give you
a simple answer.
738
00:56:15,195 --> 00:56:18,395
If you are on that border,
where you don't really know,
739
00:56:18,475 --> 00:56:22,795
I'd tell you to you jump from
side to side or to stay in the middle.
740
00:56:22,915 --> 00:56:24,955
But until you know
741
00:56:25,275 --> 00:56:26,675
by yourself
742
00:56:26,795 --> 00:56:31,515
where you'll find
this feeling of belonging,
743
00:56:32,035 --> 00:56:33,355
you're denying me...
744
00:56:34,113 --> 00:56:36,715
- I'm not denying you anything.
- Not you.
745
00:56:37,155 --> 00:56:38,795
Sorry, in general.
746
00:56:39,075 --> 00:56:40,515
The queer world
747
00:56:40,593 --> 00:56:43,035
is denying
a vital part of ourselves,
748
00:56:43,155 --> 00:56:46,835
which is to feel fulfilled
because we can have our vagina.
749
00:56:47,155 --> 00:56:49,795
- No!
- Yes, that's how it is!
750
00:56:50,035 --> 00:56:51,555
- I...
- No, no, no...
751
00:56:51,675 --> 00:56:52,675
One small thing.
752
00:56:53,515 --> 00:56:56,715
On both sides,
thing are being said
753
00:56:56,875 --> 00:57:00,675
that infringe on our personal freedom.
754
00:57:00,795 --> 00:57:02,675
I-Vaginarium isn't about that.
755
00:57:02,755 --> 00:57:06,675
I-Vaginarium goes beyond being a woman.
756
00:57:06,995 --> 00:57:12,795
This is about helping each other
757
00:57:13,113 --> 00:57:15,035
to become a better person
758
00:57:15,155 --> 00:57:17,515
with the tools we have.
759
00:57:17,635 --> 00:57:22,155
From there, you have to ask yourself
what kind of woman do you want to be.
760
00:57:23,275 --> 00:57:26,435
Up, up, down, down!
761
00:57:26,555 --> 00:57:28,995
More energy!
762
00:57:30,435 --> 00:57:32,435
And now we are going to dance
for someone.
763
00:57:32,515 --> 00:57:34,155
Let's go down slowly.
764
00:57:34,315 --> 00:57:37,195
Wow! No one can see us!
765
00:57:37,995 --> 00:57:41,355
A little higher.
And now, the challenge.
766
00:57:41,475 --> 00:57:42,635
I go down and up.
767
00:57:42,915 --> 00:57:45,075
Now! And up!
768
00:57:45,515 --> 00:57:47,635
That's it! A little faster!
769
00:57:47,755 --> 00:57:50,995
Down and up. That's it!
770
00:57:51,275 --> 00:57:52,995
Shake your body!
771
00:57:53,593 --> 00:57:58,275
It's four in the morning
and the party is yours!
772
00:57:59,395 --> 00:58:03,515
I liked that one more.
We're going to turn around.
773
00:58:05,475 --> 00:58:09,995
That's it ladies! Like every day
I want to say goodbye
774
00:58:10,113 --> 00:58:12,835
to my blondies!
Thank you!
775
00:58:37,755 --> 00:58:40,235
HI HANDSOME
776
00:58:40,795 --> 00:58:41,955
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
777
00:59:19,875 --> 00:59:22,315
DO YOU LIKE IT?
778
00:59:22,875 --> 00:59:23,955
I'M NEXT TO YOUR PLACE
779
00:59:42,755 --> 00:59:44,155
Hi there!
780
01:00:35,475 --> 01:00:42,075
BUT IT'S POLLUTED
781
01:00:46,955 --> 01:00:49,395
Look over there.
782
01:00:50,915 --> 01:00:52,635
She just took a picture of us.
783
01:00:53,115 --> 01:00:55,995
- Really?
- Yes. I think she did.
784
01:00:56,115 --> 01:00:57,344
Let's see if something comes out.
785
01:00:57,395 --> 01:00:59,155
- Why?
- I don't know.
786
01:00:59,955 --> 01:01:01,555
- Of Zaskia?
- Yes.
787
01:01:01,635 --> 01:01:03,635
- Her?
- Yes, she took a photo.
788
01:01:03,755 --> 01:01:06,555
- But why?
- I don't know, but I noticed.
789
01:01:06,675 --> 01:01:10,235
- Hi, excuse me. Do you speak Spanish?
- Yes.
790
01:01:10,355 --> 01:01:13,115
Why were you taking pictures
of my daughter?
791
01:01:13,275 --> 01:01:14,835
I didn't take any picture.
792
01:01:14,955 --> 01:01:17,915
Yes, my husband told me.
793
01:01:18,355 --> 01:01:20,555
You did it when you were walking.
794
01:01:20,675 --> 01:01:22,235
Why are you taking pictures of us?
795
01:01:22,355 --> 01:01:26,595
- Well, it's a project that I have...
- A project for what?
796
01:01:26,715 --> 01:01:30,435
An artistic project
of couples I see in the street.
797
01:01:30,555 --> 01:01:34,115
- And you're an artist? What kind?
- Yes, I'm.
798
01:01:34,235 --> 01:01:36,595
- And what are you?
- Why do you care?
799
01:01:36,715 --> 01:01:40,475
That's none of your business.
You took a picture
800
01:01:40,555 --> 01:01:42,555
and we're asking you to delete it.
801
01:01:42,675 --> 01:01:43,875
Show it to me please.
802
01:01:43,995 --> 01:01:45,595
You can't see your face, look.
803
01:01:45,715 --> 01:01:47,635
But it doesn't matter.
It's my daughter.
804
01:01:47,755 --> 01:01:50,075
Can you delete the picture please?
805
01:01:50,195 --> 01:01:52,075
There are laws!
806
01:01:52,195 --> 01:01:55,915
- I think you should delete it.
- You can't do this!
807
01:01:55,995 --> 01:01:57,955
We came here to kindly ask you
to delete it.
808
01:01:58,075 --> 01:02:00,195
And I think you should do it.
809
01:02:00,315 --> 01:02:01,715
Okay, so I'll delete it.
810
01:02:01,835 --> 01:02:04,715
That's children's rights.
811
01:02:04,795 --> 01:02:06,715
- It's done!
- Thank you.
812
01:02:06,795 --> 01:02:08,915
- Okay, good evening.
- It's done. Bye.
813
01:02:08,995 --> 01:02:11,195
- It's enough!
- Why is she taking pictures?
814
01:02:11,315 --> 01:02:13,155
She didn't ask for permission.
815
01:02:15,115 --> 01:02:16,755
You have to ask for permission
to do it.
816
01:02:16,835 --> 01:02:18,715
Especially a child.
817
01:02:19,115 --> 01:02:22,955
DON'T MAKE ME WASTE MY TIME, PLEASE
818
01:02:31,315 --> 01:02:32,675
PHOTOS XXX?
819
01:02:32,915 --> 01:02:34,195
NO
820
01:02:34,555 --> 01:02:36,795
I'll SEND YOU MINE.
DO YOU GIVE DICK?
821
01:02:37,075 --> 01:02:38,075
NO
822
01:02:38,155 --> 01:02:39,435
I'M BLOCKING YOU
823
01:02:39,915 --> 01:02:41,635
“HORNY? CAN I RAPE U?
824
01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:42,515
WHAT?
825
01:02:42,595 --> 01:02:44,155
I'D EAT YOUR ASS
826
01:02:44,275 --> 01:02:46,515
I HAVE DIARROHEA
827
01:02:46,915 --> 01:02:47,995
DO YOU HAVE A PLACE?
828
01:02:57,755 --> 01:02:59,995
- Hi.
- Hi.
829
01:03:00,795 --> 01:03:02,795
- How are you?
- Fine.
830
01:03:03,035 --> 01:03:04,035
Yeah?
831
01:03:05,995 --> 01:03:07,995
- And you?
- I'm fine.
832
01:03:08,795 --> 01:03:09,995
What's wrong?
833
01:03:12,235 --> 01:03:14,075
Are you kidding me?
834
01:03:14,515 --> 01:03:15,795
What's wrong?
835
01:03:16,995 --> 01:03:19,035
I was not supposed to meet a dude.
836
01:03:19,915 --> 01:03:21,475
Well, I'm not a dude.
837
01:03:21,595 --> 01:03:23,795
- You're not a dude?
- I'm not.
838
01:03:23,875 --> 01:03:25,435
I know who I am.
839
01:03:25,555 --> 01:03:28,315
Yeah? And the girl in the pictures?
840
01:03:28,675 --> 01:03:31,435
- I am the girl in the pictures.
- Oh, really?
841
01:03:31,555 --> 01:03:33,435
What's your problem?
I don't understand.
842
01:03:33,515 --> 01:03:36,355
“My problem is I'm not meant to be
meeting up with a dude to fuck.
843
01:03:36,475 --> 01:03:38,155
And I'm not fag,
do you understand?
844
01:03:38,275 --> 01:03:39,955
I'm not gay either.
845
01:03:40,075 --> 01:03:41,715
- Oh, you're not fag?
- No.
846
01:03:42,435 --> 01:03:43,795
- No?
- Well, no.
847
01:03:43,915 --> 01:03:45,915
- You're a chick?
- Of course.
848
01:03:46,035 --> 01:03:48,795
And your voice, where's it from?
849
01:03:50,755 --> 01:03:56,315
- Well, I think we'll leave it here.
- Yeah, we are going to leave it here.
850
01:03:56,475 --> 01:03:57,744
Sure. I want nothing
to do with you.
851
01:03:57,795 --> 01:03:58,235
Fuck off.
852
01:03:58,355 --> 01:03:59,195
Neither do I.
853
01:03:59,275 --> 01:04:01,035
- Go away.
- The truth is...
854
01:04:01,195 --> 01:04:02,515
What's the truth?
855
01:04:03,395 --> 01:04:05,435
Damn it!
Why are you lying to me?
856
01:04:05,555 --> 01:04:07,715
I didn't lie to you.
857
01:04:07,795 --> 01:04:09,704
I owe you nothing.
I don't have to tell you anything.
858
01:04:09,755 --> 01:04:11,835
Yes, you do,
because we met up to fuck.
859
01:04:11,955 --> 01:04:14,115
- And I don't like dudes.
- But I'm a chick.
860
01:04:14,795 --> 01:04:16,675
- What's your fucking problem?
- You're a chick?
861
01:04:17,035 --> 01:04:18,795
Do you want me
to fuck you in the ass?
862
01:04:19,035 --> 01:04:20,195
Do you have a problem?
863
01:04:20,315 --> 01:04:22,715
Yes, I have a problem,
I'm not into faggots.
864
01:04:22,795 --> 01:04:24,315
So, you can fuck off.
865
01:04:24,435 --> 01:04:25,555
But I'm not gay though.
866
01:04:25,675 --> 01:04:26,675
- You aren't gay?
- No.
867
01:04:26,795 --> 01:04:27,515
You're a tranny.
868
01:04:27,635 --> 01:04:29,915
You're going to fool
your fucking mother. Fuck off.
869
01:04:30,235 --> 01:04:32,795
Leave!
Go fool your fucking mother!
870
01:04:32,875 --> 01:04:33,715
Fuck off!
871
01:04:33,835 --> 01:04:36,395
- Fuck, that's enough!
- Go lie to your fucking mother.
872
01:04:36,515 --> 01:04:39,275
Creep. Fuck off!
873
01:04:46,515 --> 01:04:47,595
Hi.
874
01:04:49,435 --> 01:04:51,755
Where are you going that beautiful?
875
01:04:53,555 --> 01:04:54,915
Are you OK?
876
01:04:55,035 --> 01:04:56,275
Yes, all good.
877
01:04:59,035 --> 01:05:00,635
Is something wrong?
878
01:05:01,075 --> 01:05:02,195
No.
879
01:05:05,875 --> 01:05:07,435
- Good morning!
- Hi.
880
01:05:07,555 --> 01:05:10,235
Raphi! What a change, honey!
881
01:05:10,355 --> 01:05:11,715
- Hi.
- How are you?
882
01:05:12,035 --> 01:05:16,435
Babe, you look so pretty with that hair,
it looks great on you.
883
01:05:17,235 --> 01:05:18,915
But, that face?
884
01:05:20,955 --> 01:05:22,275
What's wrong?
885
01:05:26,315 --> 01:05:27,595
Hi!
886
01:05:27,795 --> 01:05:29,075
- Hi.
- Hi.
887
01:05:29,195 --> 01:05:32,195
Wow! So blonde!
I thought it would be darker.
888
01:05:32,675 --> 01:05:33,435
Me too.
889
01:05:33,515 --> 01:05:36,515
Hello, this is Elena,
how can I help you?
890
01:05:39,835 --> 01:05:43,635
Raphi, honey, what's wrong?
891
01:05:44,595 --> 01:05:48,795
What's wrong, my love?
Wait... these are coming...
892
01:05:49,075 --> 01:05:51,315
Good morning!
How was your weekend?
893
01:05:51,435 --> 01:05:54,075
- Fine.
- Oh, Raphi, this new look?
894
01:05:54,595 --> 01:05:58,835
But you're piecing it together
without really knowing why he left you.
895
01:05:58,955 --> 01:06:02,635
- I don't know, boys are really strange.
- People in general.
896
01:06:02,755 --> 01:06:07,555
He's probably afraid of society,
897
01:06:07,675 --> 01:06:11,795
the looks, the prejudice.
I don't know, I can't explain.
898
01:06:11,915 --> 01:06:14,504
He didn't give you an explanation.
You know what? He doesn't deserve you.
899
01:06:14,555 --> 01:06:17,275
- It's not worth it.
- No, but...
900
01:06:17,395 --> 01:06:21,155
- The problem is the expectations.
- With your self-esteem...
901
01:06:21,275 --> 01:06:22,915
What do we imagine a relationship is?
902
01:06:23,115 --> 01:06:25,795
It's like fantasy that we make up
903
01:06:25,915 --> 01:06:27,355
about what the other
has to give us.
904
01:06:27,675 --> 01:06:32,195
The reality
often doesn't fit that pattern.
905
01:06:32,555 --> 01:06:33,635
No, it doesn't.
906
01:06:33,755 --> 01:06:37,955
Maybe, we need to lower
those expectations.
907
01:06:38,075 --> 01:06:42,475
We get too excited
and we have such a romantic idea
908
01:06:42,555 --> 01:06:45,235
of princesses and prince charming...
909
01:06:45,355 --> 01:06:48,195
What has been taught to us
as children.
910
01:06:48,315 --> 01:06:50,275
When that all breaks down
911
01:06:50,395 --> 01:06:53,475
- it's a drama.
- Well, that's how it is.
912
01:06:53,595 --> 01:06:56,675
But, in the end,
we're all exposed to this.
913
01:06:56,795 --> 01:07:00,595
It's true that there are people
with more difficulties in life,
914
01:07:00,675 --> 01:07:04,035
but difficulties are opportunities
to become stronger.
915
01:07:04,155 --> 01:07:08,155
People that decide
to accept who they are
916
01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:13,515
are much braver than a person
that is comfortable with everything.
917
01:07:13,635 --> 01:07:16,355
Yes, but one thing is feeling
comfortable,
918
01:07:16,475 --> 01:07:18,155
and the other is feeling complete
919
01:07:18,235 --> 01:07:20,315
and, at the moment,
I don't feel complete...
920
01:07:20,435 --> 01:07:22,635
Give it time!
921
01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:24,675
Of course you'll be able to!
922
01:07:24,755 --> 01:07:26,115
You think that having a vagina
923
01:07:26,235 --> 01:07:27,875
will end all your sexual problems.
924
01:07:27,995 --> 01:07:30,355
- Of course.
- No, I'm telling you.
925
01:07:30,475 --> 01:07:32,675
- Maybe not.
- Not necessarily.
926
01:07:32,995 --> 01:07:34,835
- Not necessarily.
- Why not?
927
01:07:35,475 --> 01:07:39,515
Listen... first of all, sexuality
isn't just genitals.
928
01:07:39,635 --> 01:07:41,395
Sex goes a little further...
929
01:07:41,475 --> 01:07:44,315
- Do you enjoy it?
- Enjoying of your skin,
930
01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:50,155
the eye contact,
different things, okay?
931
01:07:50,515 --> 01:07:52,435
I had relationships
932
01:07:52,515 --> 01:07:55,275
where I was really happy
with the orgasms of my partners,
933
01:07:55,395 --> 01:07:57,915
- but I felt a little...
- Of your partners!
934
01:07:58,035 --> 01:08:00,955
And you faked it, classic!
935
01:08:01,195 --> 01:08:03,995
I didn't fake it!
But if I didn't come, I didn't come.
936
01:08:04,115 --> 01:08:06,755
In that moment, I thought:
"I don't mind,"
937
01:08:06,875 --> 01:08:12,195
because I had...
the fantasy of a relationship.
938
01:08:12,315 --> 01:08:14,715
The fantasy of it being
the be-all and end-all...
939
01:08:14,835 --> 01:08:17,195
and that you're incomplete
if you don't have someone.
940
01:08:17,313 --> 01:08:18,395
But it's a lie!
941
01:08:18,715 --> 01:08:24,353
And the more expectations you have
for things to be a certain way,
942
01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,595
- the more frustrated you'll feel.
- Of course.
943
01:08:27,075 --> 01:08:28,955
But ladies,
Raphi hasn't told you something.
944
01:08:29,075 --> 01:08:33,115
- Go on, tell us.
- Because, it's not all sadness, honey.
945
01:08:33,435 --> 01:08:35,635
- Tell them.
- There are definitely good things.
946
01:08:35,755 --> 01:08:38,595
Tell them about the theatre director.
947
01:08:38,795 --> 01:08:42,275
Well, a theatre director
has approached me to do a play.
948
01:08:42,675 --> 01:08:43,675
Wow!
949
01:08:43,795 --> 01:08:45,595
They were looking
for a trans-girl
950
01:08:45,675 --> 01:08:48,715
to tell her... her story.
951
01:08:48,835 --> 01:08:52,915
And don't you think that could
be an opportunity to heal?
952
01:08:53,035 --> 01:08:56,435
I think they chose a trans-girl,
because she's trans.
953
01:08:56,875 --> 01:09:01,313
In the same way, when
there's a play about a black person.
954
01:09:01,435 --> 01:09:03,835
It's like they used to do here,
955
01:09:03,955 --> 01:09:06,275
when they painted King Balthazar black.
956
01:09:06,395 --> 01:09:10,275
There are black people,
so they choose a black person.
957
01:09:10,475 --> 01:09:13,395
They're not going
to choose a girl that's not trans.
958
01:09:13,515 --> 01:09:15,915
But I'm tired of being chosen
because I'm trans,
959
01:09:16,035 --> 01:09:17,515
that they see me as trans,
960
01:09:17,595 --> 01:09:21,115
that they limit me to being trans.
961
01:09:21,555 --> 01:09:24,555
I'm going to do a very basic exam
962
01:09:24,675 --> 01:09:27,955
just to see the tissue, okay?
963
01:09:28,075 --> 01:09:30,395
- Okay.
- Okay, pull it up.
964
01:09:34,275 --> 01:09:35,475
Okay.
965
01:09:36,475 --> 01:09:37,595
Very good.
966
01:09:40,675 --> 01:09:43,835
Well, Raphi like I was saying,
the surgery can be done.
967
01:09:44,475 --> 01:09:46,755
Now it's about you telling me
968
01:09:46,875 --> 01:09:48,755
what you want to know,
if you have any doubts...
969
01:09:48,875 --> 01:09:51,435
I have several doubts, like knowing
970
01:09:51,555 --> 01:09:54,275
if it's functional,
if there's sensitivity
971
01:09:54,435 --> 01:09:57,353
once the surgery is done.
972
01:09:57,475 --> 01:09:59,035
Alright, about sensitivity...
973
01:09:59,155 --> 01:10:02,235
That's one of the main goals
of the surgery.
974
01:10:02,353 --> 01:10:06,075
It will never be like the sensitivity
that you have in your penis now.
975
01:10:06,155 --> 01:10:08,595
But yes, you will have sensitivity.
976
01:10:08,995 --> 01:10:10,035
Okay.
977
01:10:10,155 --> 01:10:13,275
So, there's no risk of the body
978
01:10:13,395 --> 01:10:15,555
rejecting the future vagina?
979
01:10:15,675 --> 01:10:16,555
Good question.
980
01:10:16,675 --> 01:10:20,555
But don't worry, because
we're going to use your own tissue.
981
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:24,195
Your body won't reject it.
982
01:10:24,915 --> 01:10:29,755
I also wanted to know,
if there is a time frame...
983
01:10:29,875 --> 01:10:31,835
If I could know
when the surgery would be.
984
01:10:33,275 --> 01:10:36,755
Raphi, you're on the waiting list.
985
01:10:37,395 --> 01:10:39,155
You are number 73,
986
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,395
so it will be at least three years.
987
01:10:42,675 --> 01:10:45,035
- A three-year wait?
- Yes.
988
01:10:46,875 --> 01:10:47,875
Okay.
989
01:10:47,955 --> 01:10:52,115
Listen, Raphi. These are the spots
that are managed by the government.
990
01:10:53,235 --> 01:10:56,195
This is also important because
991
01:10:56,313 --> 01:10:59,313
you'll start
preparing for this situation.
992
01:10:59,475 --> 01:11:00,995
I know if you've made it this far,
993
01:11:01,075 --> 01:11:03,835
it's because you're convinced of
what you want to do,
994
01:11:03,955 --> 01:11:09,075
but this is a major surgery
that can't be reversed.
995
01:11:10,795 --> 01:11:11,915
Okay.
996
01:11:13,675 --> 01:11:14,675
Okay.
997
01:11:15,313 --> 01:11:19,595
Oh, what a surprise!
You have a new look!
998
01:11:19,755 --> 01:11:21,475
No, it's not great.
999
01:11:22,515 --> 01:11:24,795
No! I think it's...
1000
01:11:24,995 --> 01:11:29,635
...pretty. It's like
a bluish-grey, silver, isn't it?
1001
01:11:29,755 --> 01:11:32,435
Yes, but I wanted blond, not blue.
1002
01:11:34,435 --> 01:11:38,675
- It's not my style.
- But it looks good!
1003
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:39,795
I don't know.
1004
01:11:39,915 --> 01:11:43,515
- It's rock and roll!
- Yeah, but I'm not rock.
1005
01:11:44,155 --> 01:11:45,475
I'm glam.
1006
01:11:46,195 --> 01:11:47,195
Well yeah.
1007
01:11:48,555 --> 01:11:53,235
Yes, but it's pretty
and the hair will come back...
1008
01:11:53,353 --> 01:11:56,235
But I can see in your face
that something's wrong.
1009
01:11:56,353 --> 01:11:59,715
- There's something that...
- You seem sad.
1010
01:11:59,835 --> 01:12:02,955
Well, I just got back from the surgeon.
1011
01:12:05,795 --> 01:12:06,555
And so?
1012
01:12:06,635 --> 01:12:09,835
So, it's a three-year wait.
1013
01:12:13,675 --> 01:12:16,795
Yeah, I understand three years is a lot.
1014
01:12:16,875 --> 01:12:19,313
Does it seem long to you?
1015
01:12:19,435 --> 01:12:23,395
Yes dad, there are seventy girls
before me.
1016
01:12:24,155 --> 01:12:27,035
What am I going to do?
My plan was to do it now.
1017
01:12:27,155 --> 01:12:28,715
Watch the news.
1018
01:12:30,313 --> 01:12:34,515
Waiting lists tend to be longer.
1019
01:12:34,635 --> 01:12:37,435
I don't think three years is that long.
1020
01:12:37,555 --> 01:12:40,755
Also, those three years are to
1021
01:12:40,875 --> 01:12:44,555
fully process the idea and...
1022
01:12:44,795 --> 01:12:49,395
...so that the girls
that take this route, are sure.
1023
01:12:50,075 --> 01:12:54,875
And don't worry,
we're with you, your sisters too.
1024
01:12:56,353 --> 01:13:01,795
The whole family is with you.
Everyone supports you, and like I said,
1025
01:13:02,115 --> 01:13:07,515
if you really need to, just come home.
1026
01:13:08,875 --> 01:13:13,755
Barcelona isn't going anywhere.
Come back whenever you want to.
1027
01:13:13,875 --> 01:13:18,195
There are many possibilities.
You don't have to be stuck
1028
01:13:18,475 --> 01:13:20,715
...in something that doesn't suit you.
1029
01:13:21,435 --> 01:13:24,313
Yes, yes, I get the issue.
1030
01:13:25,435 --> 01:13:26,475
No.
1031
01:13:30,835 --> 01:13:32,875
I can give you the information...
1032
01:13:38,435 --> 01:13:41,555
Yes, but it's not my fault
they charged you.
1033
01:13:41,635 --> 01:13:43,835
There is someone pretending to be you
1034
01:13:43,955 --> 01:13:45,755
requesting cell phones.
1035
01:13:45,875 --> 01:13:48,915
So, I'm telling you the process
we have to follow.
1036
01:13:49,035 --> 01:13:51,915
I need you to send an email.
1037
01:13:52,835 --> 01:13:56,115
I'm Carmen, I told you at the beginning.
1038
01:13:57,555 --> 01:13:59,795
I need you to write the email
1039
01:13:59,915 --> 01:14:02,155
so I can send it to my colleagues.
1040
01:14:02,955 --> 01:14:04,555
HI CARLES. HOW ARE YOU?
1041
01:14:04,915 --> 01:14:06,675
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOUR OFFER.
1042
01:14:06,875 --> 01:14:09,675
CAN WE MEET
1043
01:14:10,075 --> 01:14:12,313
?
1044
01:14:12,795 --> 01:14:16,515
I can't solve it.
1045
01:14:20,155 --> 01:14:21,435
Right now,
1046
01:14:22,275 --> 01:14:24,155
how would you define yourself?
1047
01:14:24,795 --> 01:14:26,875
- How do I define myself?
- Yes.
1048
01:14:28,195 --> 01:14:29,313
First of all, I'm a woman.
1049
01:14:29,435 --> 01:14:34,195
I think that it's something
I have to reclaim nowadays.
1050
01:14:37,795 --> 01:14:41,595
When sometimes, my identity
is still in question.
1051
01:14:42,555 --> 01:14:46,235
When people that I meet
question me
1052
01:14:46,353 --> 01:14:52,275
or talk to me in masculine form,
or hurt me during my transition.
1053
01:14:52,395 --> 01:14:55,435
I feel the need to claim
that I'm a woman,
1054
01:14:55,555 --> 01:14:57,313
and also...
1055
01:15:00,755 --> 01:15:04,555
because of what happened to me recently,
1056
01:15:04,635 --> 01:15:08,075
sometimes I have the feeling
1057
01:15:09,035 --> 01:15:13,595
that I'm still very much a child.
I'm a total dreamer.
1058
01:15:13,715 --> 01:15:17,195
Maybe a little naïve, ingenuous.
1059
01:15:20,635 --> 01:15:25,475
It's something that I'd like to change.
1060
01:15:25,875 --> 01:15:29,835
To become someone with a stronger
personality, more empowered...
1061
01:15:29,955 --> 01:15:34,955
I don't know if this might be useful,
I haven't known you very long,
1062
01:15:35,353 --> 01:15:38,395
but I think you have a lot of character.
1063
01:15:39,755 --> 01:15:42,195
A lot of character!
1064
01:15:42,515 --> 01:15:45,715
You have plenty of conditions,
and qualities to spare
1065
01:15:45,835 --> 01:15:48,475
to do this project.
1066
01:15:48,595 --> 01:15:49,635
Okay.
1067
01:15:49,995 --> 01:15:54,915
On one hand you said:
"I don't want to be different."
1068
01:15:55,035 --> 01:15:59,675
But on the other hand,
I know you have a strong,
1069
01:15:59,795 --> 01:16:01,995
artistic personality,
1070
01:16:02,115 --> 01:16:04,955
that you've been looking a lot
for your own identity.
1071
01:16:05,035 --> 01:16:07,235
This difference, even with your look...
1072
01:16:08,475 --> 01:16:11,795
So, I'd like you to talk to me
a little about...
1073
01:16:12,955 --> 01:16:15,075
Is this a contradiction for you?
1074
01:16:16,275 --> 01:16:18,155
At this point in my life
1075
01:16:18,275 --> 01:16:22,475
I see that it's something negative
for me to be different.
1076
01:16:22,595 --> 01:16:27,435
I'd like to fit in the world,
with people.
1077
01:16:27,555 --> 01:16:30,395
But I see that's not the case.
1078
01:16:30,675 --> 01:16:32,024
It's true that there's a part of me
1079
01:16:32,075 --> 01:16:34,115
that likes to transgress with fashion...
1080
01:16:34,515 --> 01:16:37,115
I like to use this means of expression
1081
01:16:37,195 --> 01:16:41,115
but I have to be very feminine too.
1082
01:16:41,313 --> 01:16:43,835
Often others remind me of my condition,
1083
01:16:43,955 --> 01:16:47,595
and I feel more masculine than ever.
That's the hardest thing to deal with.
1084
01:16:47,675 --> 01:16:49,995
Because that's what
everyone else sees in me.
1085
01:16:50,595 --> 01:16:52,755
But, after all, I don't see it.
1086
01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:56,475
A very easy example,
with boys...
1087
01:16:56,795 --> 01:16:59,275
I feel like...
1088
01:17:02,395 --> 01:17:03,795
I'll end up alone.
1089
01:17:06,155 --> 01:17:07,795
Because no one loves me.
1090
01:17:08,835 --> 01:17:09,995
I mean...
1091
01:17:12,115 --> 01:17:15,235
It's great to have me as a friend,
as...
1092
01:17:19,035 --> 01:17:21,955
But I'll never be someone's woman,
1093
01:17:22,075 --> 01:17:25,995
or someone's wife
or just someone's girlfriend.
1094
01:17:30,195 --> 01:17:31,235
I don't know.
1095
01:17:31,875 --> 01:17:34,515
Boys don't want to be
with me because...
1096
01:17:36,155 --> 01:17:37,353
I'm not...
1097
01:17:39,313 --> 01:17:43,275
I'm not perfect enough for them.
1098
01:17:47,595 --> 01:17:49,395
I don't know how to say this.
1099
01:17:50,275 --> 01:17:52,395
Raphi, do you realise that...?
1100
01:17:52,515 --> 01:17:54,515
I think you're very capable.
1101
01:17:54,635 --> 01:17:57,955
But there will
be a lot of people watching you.
1102
01:17:58,075 --> 01:17:59,313
We are working
1103
01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:01,835
about the people
that are watching you.
1104
01:18:02,353 --> 01:18:03,995
And you let them watch you.
1105
01:18:04,313 --> 01:18:05,313
Okay?
1106
01:18:06,155 --> 01:18:07,195
Okay.
1107
01:18:18,353 --> 01:18:19,595
Come in.
1108
01:18:24,595 --> 01:18:26,595
I can't believe it!
1109
01:18:28,555 --> 01:18:30,555
Wow!
1110
01:18:32,475 --> 01:18:35,235
- Wow!
- Does it look big?
1111
01:18:37,955 --> 01:18:40,795
Okay, now we have to make sure
1112
01:18:40,915 --> 01:18:42,395
you are in the light.
1113
01:18:42,715 --> 01:18:44,195
- Okay.
- Okay?
1114
01:18:44,795 --> 01:18:46,313
Whenever you're ready, Raphi.
1115
01:18:47,395 --> 01:18:50,235
I feel excluded
from the representation of the sexes.
1116
01:18:50,353 --> 01:18:54,555
Why aren't there trans mannequins?
Man, woman. What does it mean?
1117
01:18:54,715 --> 01:18:56,835
Who is to say how a man should be?
1118
01:18:56,955 --> 01:18:58,835
Or how a woman should be?
1119
01:18:58,915 --> 01:19:01,595
To fit in, or not to fit in?
1120
01:19:01,755 --> 01:19:04,715
Be who they expect you to be
or be yourself?
1121
01:19:04,835 --> 01:19:06,435
For me, that's the question.
1122
01:19:06,555 --> 01:19:11,115
Sorry,
just one step back, and stand here.
1123
01:19:11,235 --> 01:19:13,195
Do you feel the heat here?
1124
01:19:13,313 --> 01:19:14,795
- Okay.
- That's it.
1125
01:19:14,915 --> 01:19:16,595
- Much better!
- Thank you, Llorenç.
1126
01:19:16,675 --> 01:19:18,515
- Thanks a lot.
- You're welcome.
1127
01:19:18,635 --> 01:19:22,235
Okay, so let's do it again.
This is the position, OK?
1128
01:19:22,313 --> 01:19:23,635
- Perfect. Great.
- Okay?
1129
01:19:23,755 --> 01:19:25,915
Eugenio, can we repeat the scene?
1130
01:19:27,795 --> 01:19:30,864
I don't know if it's a typical comment,
but why do you torture yourself so much?
1131
01:19:30,915 --> 01:19:33,313
I see you as a very attractive girl.
1132
01:19:34,955 --> 01:19:38,555
Well, I don't torture myself,
but I see the truth. I mean...
1133
01:19:39,675 --> 01:19:43,875
After all, when...
1134
01:19:45,075 --> 01:19:47,795
when I start a relationship
with someone or whatever
1135
01:19:47,915 --> 01:19:50,155
the boys always run away.
1136
01:19:50,275 --> 01:19:52,075
Perhaps I'm attractive,
but then what?
1137
01:19:52,995 --> 01:19:56,313
Sometimes I feel like
I'm a fucking image, and nothing else.
1138
01:19:56,435 --> 01:19:59,395
- Many of disappointments?
- Disappointments?
1139
01:19:59,595 --> 01:20:02,075
Well, yeah, a lot...
1140
01:20:02,155 --> 01:20:04,075
You haven't met your prince charming?
1141
01:20:06,675 --> 01:20:09,075
I'm not even looking
for a prince charming.
1142
01:20:09,155 --> 01:20:11,595
I don't know
why you say that, but...
1143
01:20:13,555 --> 01:20:16,155
I'm just looking for company.
1144
01:20:16,235 --> 01:20:18,235
You aren't looking for a prince,
1145
01:20:18,313 --> 01:20:19,395
but someone...
1146
01:20:19,515 --> 01:20:20,635
to share with...
1147
01:20:20,755 --> 01:20:22,915
- Yes, totally.
- Someone to trust in...
1148
01:20:23,035 --> 01:20:24,595
Yes exactly.
1149
01:20:25,755 --> 01:20:29,235
Someone to merge with,
to be one with, to become...
1150
01:20:29,353 --> 01:20:30,555
- Of course.
- So nice.
1151
01:20:30,675 --> 01:20:32,755
- You don't?
- That's bullshit.
1152
01:20:32,835 --> 01:20:36,313
- What do you mean that's bullshit?
- I don't want it.
1153
01:20:37,035 --> 01:20:39,435
I think
that people are born alone,
1154
01:20:39,555 --> 01:20:43,795
we die alone, and on that path
which can be short or long,
1155
01:20:43,915 --> 01:20:47,395
we will meet different partners
who can even be simultaneous.
1156
01:20:47,755 --> 01:20:49,715
For me this Disney fairy tale
1157
01:20:49,835 --> 01:20:53,115
about the love of my life,
my other half...
1158
01:20:53,635 --> 01:20:55,155
I am already whole.
1159
01:20:55,275 --> 01:20:57,353
I don't want to be with a half.
1160
01:20:57,475 --> 01:20:59,995
I'm whole on my own.
1161
01:21:00,835 --> 01:21:02,195
Do you live it well?
1162
01:21:02,313 --> 01:21:04,475
I live however I can.
1163
01:21:04,955 --> 01:21:07,675
What you're telling me
is very beautiful, but...
1164
01:21:07,755 --> 01:21:11,313
unfortunately, I don't seem to find...
1165
01:21:11,435 --> 01:21:13,835
those partners that easy.
1166
01:21:13,915 --> 01:21:16,395
The few boys
that are interested in me...
1167
01:21:19,475 --> 01:21:21,115
- Hi!
- What?
1168
01:21:21,235 --> 01:21:22,635
I'm interested.
1169
01:21:22,755 --> 01:21:25,115
You're interested.
And what's gonna happen then?
1170
01:21:25,235 --> 01:21:27,515
- What's gonna happen?
- Nothing.
1171
01:21:27,835 --> 01:21:30,395
If you're going to be like that,
nothing will happen.
1172
01:21:30,755 --> 01:21:33,995
And if it doesn't,
but something just as beautiful happens?
1173
01:21:35,035 --> 01:21:36,795
- How...?
- Let's go with the flow.
1174
01:21:36,915 --> 01:21:39,515
Yes, sure, we go with the flow,
and tomorrow?
1175
01:21:39,635 --> 01:21:41,635
Tomorrow is tomorrow!
1176
01:23:17,555 --> 01:23:21,275
We could talk for hours
about what "normal" means, but...
1177
01:23:21,435 --> 01:23:23,515
the separation that you see,
1178
01:23:23,915 --> 01:23:26,715
and the violence that you feel
sometimes,
1179
01:23:26,795 --> 01:23:28,353
we don't have it.
1180
01:23:28,475 --> 01:23:33,035
- In the play, right.
- I think we need to take that route.
1181
01:23:34,515 --> 01:23:36,195
I want to be strong.
1182
01:23:36,795 --> 01:23:38,995
I want to be able to face any look.
1183
01:23:39,835 --> 01:23:42,515
And then I think
and feel with my entire being
1184
01:23:43,955 --> 01:23:45,475
that I cannot go back
1185
01:23:46,275 --> 01:23:49,915
because I can't let
those looks break me.
1186
01:23:50,635 --> 01:23:52,595
I can't take a step back.
1187
01:23:52,835 --> 01:23:55,313
If I do, nothing would have made sense.
1188
01:23:55,835 --> 01:23:57,675
If I do it, I give in to fear,
1189
01:23:58,035 --> 01:23:59,875
to their desires.
1190
01:24:00,715 --> 01:24:02,475
I give in to them,
1191
01:24:03,195 --> 01:24:05,395
to those that look violently,
1192
01:24:05,875 --> 01:24:08,395
to those that treat you like an object.
1193
01:24:09,195 --> 01:24:11,755
None of us can give a step back.
1194
01:24:12,035 --> 01:24:14,075
No trans or cis woman,
1195
01:24:14,195 --> 01:24:15,475
or whoever.
1196
01:24:16,115 --> 01:24:18,595
How long will we
have to deal with this superiority?
1197
01:24:18,835 --> 01:24:21,313
This arrogance that's everywhere.
1198
01:24:21,555 --> 01:24:23,515
Sometimes in a very obvious way,
1199
01:24:24,313 --> 01:24:26,795
other times very subtle.
1200
01:24:27,475 --> 01:24:30,353
How dare you?
Why do you dress so strange?
1201
01:24:30,475 --> 01:24:34,395
What are you?
Why are you so different?
1202
01:24:35,475 --> 01:24:37,313
I don't want them to devour me.
1203
01:24:37,555 --> 01:24:39,313
I want to be who I am.
1204
01:24:40,235 --> 01:24:41,875
To the boy that I was.
1205
01:24:42,395 --> 01:24:44,475
To the girl I was without knowing it.
1206
01:24:45,313 --> 01:24:47,313
To you, who I don't even know.
1207
01:24:47,715 --> 01:24:50,275
To you, who I love
without even knowing you.
1208
01:24:50,795 --> 01:24:53,195
To you, an image in my mind.
1209
01:24:53,795 --> 01:24:55,195
I am Raphaëlle.
1210
01:24:57,435 --> 01:24:59,795
Damn, this text is intense.
1211
01:25:02,715 --> 01:25:03,715
Yes.
1212
01:25:06,675 --> 01:25:07,675
So...
1213
01:25:08,795 --> 01:25:11,115
Is it OK?
Can we work with this?
1214
01:25:14,395 --> 01:25:16,555
It comes from the things you told me.
1215
01:25:16,675 --> 01:25:19,915
They're your words, your experience...
1216
01:25:22,235 --> 01:25:27,195
If you identify yourself in the text,
we'll try it in a scene.
1217
01:25:27,313 --> 01:25:29,195
Yes, I see myself, but...
1218
01:25:29,835 --> 01:25:31,915
I think it will be very hard.
1219
01:25:34,595 --> 01:25:37,515
I don't know, I don't think I'm capable.
1220
01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:41,835
What are you? How dare you?
1221
01:25:41,915 --> 01:25:43,595
You dress so weird.
1222
01:25:44,395 --> 01:25:45,995
Who do you think you are?
1223
01:25:46,075 --> 01:25:49,275
Why are you so different?
1224
01:25:49,835 --> 01:25:51,435
I start counting the stops.
1225
01:25:51,555 --> 01:25:53,835
They are like pieces
of Paris history.
1226
01:25:53,955 --> 01:25:55,195
The voice that announces
1227
01:25:55,313 --> 01:25:57,235
pronounces
with different inflections.
1228
01:25:57,313 --> 01:25:59,515
I always liked this detail.
1229
01:25:59,995 --> 01:26:02,635
République.
1230
01:26:02,795 --> 01:26:05,195
Oberkampf.
1231
01:26:05,635 --> 01:26:07,995
Charonne, Rue des Boulets
Nation, Buzenval,
1232
01:26:08,115 --> 01:26:09,195
Maraîchers.
1233
01:26:09,715 --> 01:26:11,275
Porte de Montreuil.
1234
01:26:13,435 --> 01:26:15,875
From this moment on...
1235
01:26:16,075 --> 01:26:20,515
I leave behind the sparkling
and elegant Paris, the Paris of dreams.
1236
01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:23,395
This is the real world, dark,
1237
01:26:23,635 --> 01:26:26,275
dangerous, violent.
1238
01:26:26,755 --> 01:26:28,475
This is the real world,
1239
01:26:28,595 --> 01:26:31,353
dark, dangerous,
1240
01:26:31,635 --> 01:26:32,795
violent.
1241
01:26:32,915 --> 01:26:35,795
Two men are looking at me.
At me? Impossible.
1242
01:26:37,515 --> 01:26:39,915
Yes,
they look at me, up and down, staring.
1243
01:26:39,995 --> 01:26:43,353
It's more than curiosity,
it's perverse, disgusting.
1244
01:26:43,475 --> 01:26:45,115
They come near me,
1245
01:26:45,275 --> 01:26:48,515
I get up, I go to the door
to be closer to the exit.
1246
01:26:48,635 --> 01:26:50,515
They must be coming for me.
1247
01:26:50,835 --> 01:26:52,635
I arrive at the third...
1248
01:26:53,115 --> 01:26:54,944
- I run up the stairs.
- Okay, let's start again.
1249
01:26:54,995 --> 01:26:56,595
- From here!
- From here?
1250
01:26:56,715 --> 01:26:58,835
Yes. Calm down! Don't speed up!
1251
01:26:59,435 --> 01:27:02,115
Hey! What are you doing?
1252
01:27:02,235 --> 01:27:04,515
- I'm putting this on.
- Let me see.
1253
01:27:04,795 --> 01:27:06,155
- Are you nervous?
- Yes.
1254
01:27:06,275 --> 01:27:07,475
- Me too.
- You too?
1255
01:27:07,595 --> 01:27:09,395
A lot. Look.
1256
01:27:10,515 --> 01:27:12,195
- Am I nervous or what?
- Yes.
1257
01:27:12,313 --> 01:27:13,595
Yes, right?
1258
01:27:29,313 --> 01:27:30,795
Fuck!
1259
01:27:37,475 --> 01:27:40,435
- No.
- No? Okay,
1260
01:27:44,515 --> 01:27:46,115
Stop, stop!
1261
01:27:46,835 --> 01:27:49,195
- Why?
- I don't want to come yet.
1262
01:27:49,313 --> 01:27:50,635
- Don't you?
- Wait.
1263
01:27:50,755 --> 01:27:52,275
- Why?
- You first.
1264
01:27:52,395 --> 01:27:53,995
- Why?
- You first.
1265
01:28:13,195 --> 01:28:16,115
- She leaves her hideout.
- Okay.
1266
01:28:16,395 --> 01:28:18,353
Does the whole monologue...
1267
01:28:18,515 --> 01:28:20,235
My cue is
"what does it mean to be a woman."
1268
01:28:20,435 --> 01:28:22,115
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND
1269
01:28:22,435 --> 01:28:23,515
I DON'T KNOW
1270
01:28:28,313 --> 01:28:30,475
IF YOU'RE FREE, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU
1271
01:28:44,595 --> 01:28:45,875
- How are you?
- Hi.
1272
01:28:45,995 --> 01:28:48,475
- How are you?
- Fine, you?
1273
01:28:48,595 --> 01:28:49,595
- Fine.
- Yes?
1274
01:28:49,715 --> 01:28:53,675
Well, everything ended...
well "ended"... I mean...
1275
01:28:54,313 --> 01:28:56,595
Yes, it ended.
Because you disappeared!
1276
01:28:56,715 --> 01:28:57,955
I didn't disappear!
1277
01:28:58,075 --> 01:28:59,195
I mean...
1278
01:28:59,475 --> 01:29:02,595
- You avoided me.
- You're a bit extreme, aren't you?
1279
01:29:02,835 --> 01:29:05,995
Maybe,
but, what do you want me to say?
1280
01:29:06,075 --> 01:29:08,595
- I don't know.
- You're always over the top.
1281
01:29:09,115 --> 01:29:09,915
Yeah.
1282
01:29:10,155 --> 01:29:12,075
But I'd like to know why.
1283
01:29:12,155 --> 01:29:16,313
It was really intense for me.
I wasn't...
1284
01:29:17,353 --> 01:29:19,835
looking for a relationship
or something stable.
1285
01:29:19,955 --> 01:29:22,075
- I noticed that you were...
- But we didn't say that.
1286
01:29:22,195 --> 01:29:25,353
- We didn't even talk about that.
- I know...
1287
01:29:25,435 --> 01:29:27,075
But I noticed you were pulling
1288
01:29:27,195 --> 01:29:30,235
harder than I was ready for.
1289
01:29:31,115 --> 01:29:32,115
I also noticed things.
1290
01:29:33,395 --> 01:29:38,435
I'm in a place where
I'm getting my shit together again...
1291
01:29:39,353 --> 01:29:41,755
I don't know, maybe I need more time.
1292
01:29:41,875 --> 01:29:43,115
I don't know...
1293
01:29:43,235 --> 01:29:45,755
And it also scared you
to be with me.
1294
01:29:46,875 --> 01:29:48,755
A little, yeah.
1295
01:29:49,475 --> 01:29:51,995
- Out of ignorance...
- Ignorance?
1296
01:29:52,115 --> 01:29:53,995
I also have my doubts.
1297
01:29:54,595 --> 01:29:56,635
This is completely new to me.
1298
01:29:56,755 --> 01:30:00,155
I mean, I understand that for you
1299
01:30:00,275 --> 01:30:04,155
it has not been easy to accept
a relationship with a trans girl
1300
01:30:04,275 --> 01:30:06,075
for all that it involves...
1301
01:30:08,155 --> 01:30:10,313
to your...
1302
01:30:11,555 --> 01:30:15,595
friends, the approval...
1303
01:30:15,675 --> 01:30:17,515
But I'm not talking
about going that far...
1304
01:30:17,635 --> 01:30:21,555
I addressed the topic
as best I could...
1305
01:30:21,635 --> 01:30:23,715
But I didn't know
1306
01:30:24,915 --> 01:30:28,395
how to touch you,
what you were comfortable with.
1307
01:30:28,955 --> 01:30:30,835
It was there, like a taboo.
1308
01:30:31,955 --> 01:30:35,195
Maybe you didn't know
how to do it and I...
1309
01:30:36,353 --> 01:30:37,875
didn't know how to address it,
1310
01:30:38,675 --> 01:30:41,075
in a mature way.
1311
01:30:42,395 --> 01:30:44,595
But if you don't guide me a little,
1312
01:30:45,715 --> 01:30:47,515
it's difficult for me.
1313
01:30:47,835 --> 01:30:52,955
Yeah, I understand perfectly.
It wasn't easy for anyone.
1314
01:30:54,475 --> 01:30:59,515
It's a shame that we couldn't
verbalise it at the time.
1315
01:30:59,635 --> 01:31:02,035
Now, it's three months later.
1316
01:31:02,995 --> 01:31:06,155
- But it's not a lost cause, isn't it?
- No, I know.
1317
01:31:07,035 --> 01:31:11,475
I don't even know if you want
1318
01:31:11,915 --> 01:31:13,715
us to continue seeing each other...
1319
01:31:14,115 --> 01:31:16,115
I don't know
if you are dating someone.
1320
01:31:17,035 --> 01:31:19,195
If I'm dating someone? No.
1321
01:31:21,875 --> 01:31:24,515
- No? Are you sure?
- Yes, why?
1322
01:31:24,595 --> 01:31:26,395
Because you're smiling.
1323
01:31:30,195 --> 01:31:32,955
- It's like you're in a divan...
- Divan?
1324
01:31:33,075 --> 01:31:36,353
I feel like a psychoanalyst
and you're my patient.
1325
01:31:36,475 --> 01:31:38,875
- I love it!
- Yeah? Can I ask you questions?
1326
01:31:38,995 --> 01:31:41,435
- Of course.
- I turn away a bit,
1327
01:31:41,515 --> 01:31:44,395
like they do
to avoid eye contact...
1328
01:31:45,835 --> 01:31:46,995
It's true, they do that!
1329
01:31:47,115 --> 01:31:48,313
- Oh, really?
- Of course.
1330
01:31:48,435 --> 01:31:51,595
You're French. There's a big
psychoanalysis school there.
1331
01:31:52,115 --> 01:31:54,313
So I can ask you...
1332
01:31:56,555 --> 01:31:58,595
What do you like the most about sex?
1333
01:31:59,395 --> 01:32:01,795
- What do I like the most?
- Yes.
1334
01:32:07,955 --> 01:32:11,515
Maybe it sounds stupid,
but the presence of the other person.
1335
01:32:11,955 --> 01:32:13,155
It doesn't sound stupid.
1336
01:32:15,715 --> 01:32:18,075
I thought that with a vagina,
1337
01:32:18,195 --> 01:32:20,555
I would be accepted
and desired by a boy.
1338
01:32:21,475 --> 01:32:22,475
Yeah.
1339
01:32:26,075 --> 01:32:29,395
- But that doesn't guarantee anything.
- No, I mean...
1340
01:32:29,955 --> 01:32:32,395
I can't do anything.
I can't even go to a private clinic,
1341
01:32:32,515 --> 01:32:34,435
because I don't have the money, so...
1342
01:32:34,555 --> 01:32:36,353
So I have to wait and...
1343
01:32:39,275 --> 01:32:42,715
I think that now it's time
for me to accept myself.
1344
01:32:42,795 --> 01:32:45,475
And that's it.
I take these three years to...
1345
01:32:46,875 --> 01:32:49,195
see where they take me...
1346
01:32:51,435 --> 01:32:53,035
And that's it, I come first.
1347
01:32:53,155 --> 01:32:54,275
You come first.
1348
01:32:58,635 --> 01:33:01,313
This is me at 4 years old.
1349
01:33:04,075 --> 01:33:07,995
And this is me
a little younger, at 2 years old.
1350
01:33:11,035 --> 01:33:15,195
And this is Raphi,
about 24 years ago.
1351
01:33:21,115 --> 01:33:24,475
I'm hiding
like I did for many years.
1352
01:33:25,313 --> 01:33:27,195
I'm not an actress.
1353
01:33:27,395 --> 01:33:30,075
But I can lie, pretend,
1354
01:33:30,795 --> 01:33:32,195
I'm good at that.
1355
01:33:32,795 --> 01:33:35,035
I played a role for 20 years,
1356
01:33:35,353 --> 01:33:38,115
but the day arrived
when I decided to cross the line,
1357
01:33:38,595 --> 01:33:41,195
the border, the limit.
1358
01:33:46,715 --> 01:33:48,075
What are you?
1359
01:33:48,875 --> 01:33:50,595
How dare you?
1360
01:33:51,675 --> 01:33:53,435
You dress so weird!
1361
01:33:54,275 --> 01:33:56,075
Who do you think you are?
1362
01:33:56,595 --> 01:33:57,995
Why are you so,
1363
01:33:58,955 --> 01:34:00,395
so different?
1364
01:34:00,755 --> 01:34:04,955
I leave behind the sparkling
and elegant Paris, the Paris of dreams.
1365
01:34:05,235 --> 01:34:07,075
This is the real world.
1366
01:34:08,595 --> 01:34:10,795
You have gender dysphoria.
1367
01:34:11,075 --> 01:34:12,435
No one will love you
in this body.
1368
01:34:12,555 --> 01:34:13,835
Don't look for me.
1369
01:34:14,313 --> 01:34:16,955
Don't look, don't answer,
don't listen.
1370
01:34:17,835 --> 01:34:20,596
I'm sorry, it feels really weird
to refer to you in the feminine form.
1371
01:34:21,035 --> 01:34:22,555
Do your parents support you?
1372
01:34:22,675 --> 01:34:25,035
You' should speak with a professional.
1373
01:34:25,675 --> 01:34:27,275
I love you.
1374
01:34:27,835 --> 01:34:30,795
Are you sure?
You won't be able to turn back.
1375
01:34:32,475 --> 01:34:33,515
Do you masturbate?
1376
01:34:33,635 --> 01:34:35,635
I want you to fuck me from behind.
1377
01:34:39,755 --> 01:34:41,595
You can't leave me like this.
1378
01:34:45,075 --> 01:34:48,635
Good morning.
How can I help you?
1379
01:35:17,955 --> 01:35:19,195
In my dressing room...
1380
01:35:19,275 --> 01:35:20,595
Look at you!
1381
01:35:21,995 --> 01:35:23,035
Raphi!
1382
01:35:24,195 --> 01:35:25,875
Come and toast with me!
1383
01:35:26,795 --> 01:35:28,275
Oops, the glass!
1384
01:35:42,875 --> 01:35:45,115
Put as much as you want.
1385
01:35:47,635 --> 01:35:49,755
- I'm your masterpiece.
- A little more?
1386
01:36:15,313 --> 01:36:17,195
IN MEMORY OF PATRICIA PEREZ (1966-2020)
1387
01:39:43,115 --> 01:39:50,715
Subtitles: Mecal Subt